Stupid Question (Negovanman)

Stupid Question

You're sitting in the back of the car with your friends and drive past the gay bar they are taking you to. You swallow the lump in your throat and sigh just a little too loud to your liking.

"So, what are you going to do?" Elise asks you as she's looking your way, but when you turn to meet her eyes she averts them and focuses on the people outside of the car.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just gonna go in there and not fight it anymore." You hear her hum but still she keeps avoiding you. When you hear a loud group of people dancing and laughing just outside the bar on the patio it catches your attention and turn to watch the scene taking place.

This elaborate plan of your friends to get you out there was making you feel anxious. Kate, Elise and Abby were always by your side and respected the fact that dating and 'getting out there' wasn't really your thing. You were okay with being alone, most of the time anyway.

So before you get out the car you take in a deep breath trying to calm your nerves once again and watch Kate and Abby bounce in excitement just for being here. But when you look at Elise you sorta get a vibe from her, she's not as excited as the others. Hell, even the smile she shoots your way because you can't stop looking at her like the dork you are, doesn't even really reach her eyes.

"Hey, are you okay?" you ask with a genuine concern as you carefully nudge her shoulder with your own.

She tries to laugh it off but you see right through it. "I just thought I had more time, that's all." she says and as she walks away she looks down for a moment before meeting your eyes for a second. It's enough to take your breath away but you're not quite sure what to do. The overwhelming urge to ask her what she meant by that is currently being suppressed by the inability to move right away. She looked defeated when she said those words and you find yourself frowning as you turn around to make your way back to your friends.

It's a warm summer evening so you and your friends decided to take a seat outside on the patio where a table just opened up and have your drinks there. A couple of girls have been flirting with you on your way over to the bar to order said drinks and you realize that maybe this hasn't been such a bad idea. Only thing is, even if you have a zero appetite for drama, you're not in this for a one-time fling or a one-night stand because you've had enough of those.

You observe everything going on around you. Next to girls dancing around like they're on springbreak and the copious amounts of alcohol that is consumed along with it, everyone is having fun, except for the one sitting next to you. Abby and Kate are too busy having a conversation that they don't really notice the silence between you and Elise. But that thing Elise said to you before she walked away kept roaming around in your head.

You turn toward her and lean in a bit closer to her, "Hey, what did you mean when you said you thought you had more time?"

You see her taking in breath and again she tries to laugh it off, "It's nothing. Don't mind me."

"Elise?" She turns to look at you and you can see that she wants you to drop this by the way she's looking at you. Not gonna work though. You take her hand and stand up from your table causing Kate and Abby to pause their conversation until you tell them you'll be right back.

The two of you walk back to where the car is parked and even though she's following you you're not really aware that you're still holding her hand until she pulls away from you. "What are you doing? I told you I'm fine!"

She's clearly agitated but you don't care, something is definitely up with her and so you try again. "What did you mean when you said that you thought you had more time?"

"Is it really that hard for you to see?"

"Is what hard for me to see? Elise just.. just talk to me."

You notice her breathing is starting to pick up and you wonder why she's nervous all of the sudden. "I really have to spell it out for you huh?" You're getting more and more confused and because of that even your breathing is starting to pick up. "I needed more time because I had to figure out a way to tell you that.." she pauses and sighs loudly before finishing the sentence.

It's almost as if she's getting emotional now. What was going on with her? The worst case scenarios are running through your head as you are trying to figure it out; is she moving away, is she sick, going on a long holiday, maybe she doesn't want to be friends anymore which is ridiculous but people in your past have done it before so who's to say she's not just tired of you? Not a clue, but it wasn't doing your heart any good that's for sure.

But the words that came out of her mouth next you never expected in a million years. "I like you, you idiot!" You're stunned and without even noticing your eyes start dancing around as you try to connect the nonexistent dots. "Right, and you don't like me that way so I'm just gonna go that way." she says comically pointing back towards to bar with a faux laugh as she goes to walk away from you.

"You like me?" you breathe out in shock as she moves past you. She turns to face you again and when you turn around as well she was about to speak again, probably to excuse herself more and to tell you how sorry she is for ruining everything and that it's probably best to just forget what happened and let it go, to let her go. You won't let it get that far though. "No just.. shut up for a second." Even though it worked, realizing what you said, you shake your head to somewhat apologize for saying that. You regain your focus and lock eyes with her. "You like me? As in 'like' like me? No wait.. stupid question.."

"It's okay. You don't have to spare my feelings or anything. You don't have to pretend like you're okay with this." She looks down to the ground, anything to not look at you right now. "I'm just gonna go."

As she tries to walk away from you for the second time in these past couple of minutes you grab her hand to stop her from doing so. "You.." As you look down to your joined hands and swallow the lump in your throat your heart starts to race even faster than before. So after taking in a breath you try to continue. "You.. literally.. take my breath away.. Every single time." you say as you're locking eyes with her again. Only this time it felt a million times heavier than it ever has before. "You have always taken my breath away."

You step closer to her and let go of her hand to gently place both of yours on her cheeks to cup her face and without overthinking it, like you normally do, you close the distance between your lips, surprising even yourself. When you pull away you see that her eyes are still closed. You waited for her to open hers before speaking again but she stopped you this time as her hands move to take hold yours. "No.. No no, your time to shut up now."

For a second you think you may have overstepped your boundaries, thinking maybe she's mad at you for all of this. But then her features soften and she starts to smile that beautiful smile and you instantly feel relief flooding your body. Before you can say or do anything, she connects your lips with what felt like a million kisses until the kiss slowed down as if you've been kissing each other like this for years, and you gladly let her do so. Simultaneously this feeling starts to sink in that you never really knew how much you needed her, how much of your heart she already owned.

She starts to giggle and pulls away from the kiss. And you don't why but everything falls into place, because that giggle just about melts your heart. Come to think it, that heart of yours has been melting every single time you heard her laugh, or talk, sing or hum.. every time she's just being herself basically, but you were just too dumb to even see it before tonight.

"Soooo.." You drag out the word before a little smirk appears. "You 'like' like me?" You squint your eyes a little bit, but that smirk gives you away anyway. Doesn't matter, because just when you thought you couldn't possibly feel any better than you did just now, Elise decides to hide her face on your shoulder for a moment, pulling you closer as she laughs. Feeling her laugh vibrate through your body makes you smile even harder than you thought was ever possible.

When she leans back a little more to look into your eyes you can see the twinkle in her hers, which you are sure you're reciprocating with your own, and gives you a kiss on your cheek. "I distinctly remember you saying that's a stupid question, Nat."

You smile and kiss her again. "Yeah okay, just checking."