I ripped my hands through my hair not getting what to do anymore . I thought he will understand but he left.
Why!!
He won't be that far if he had just left, right. Please God! Don't let him leave.
Without thinking much I slipped on my flip flops and ran out of my room. Not bothering to lock it after. I ran like maniac in the hallway , down the stairs and just went straight to the parking lot.
His car should be parked there.....
But the moment I reached in the parking area I saw his car zooming out of the main entrance. The thing I was praying not to happen , I just encountered it happening right in front of my eyes.
I stood there frozen watching his car go away.
I didn't realize the depth of sadness I was feeling until a lone tear streamed down my cheeks. I rubbed it off quickly , averting my gaze from the gate, where P'Phana just left and looked down at the wetness on my hand.
How long am I going to do shitty things like this.... I mentally cursed myself.
Why can't I just keep it all in for once.
I turned around taking one last look in the way he left and with a heavy heart I went away from there.
********
My legs felt heavy as I came inside my room, locking the door behind me.
I didn't wanted things to end this way today. Till the time he entered my room, everything was so magical. But again, good things doesn't lasts for long.
Thinking of him a desperate cry of longing escaped my lips and finally getting enough of acting tough, I dropped helplessly beside the bed, folding my knees to my chest.
I sobbed thinking of my stupidity. Why did I have to hurt him. Will he leave me for stopping his advances on me.
I was thinking of worst possibilities...
I tried whipping my tears and snorts of off my face before pulling out my phone from inside my pant's pocket.
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I need to call him.
He is the only person I can talk to right now.
I dialed his number with hurried movement of fingers before pressing on the dial. It didn't took him long to answer my call and I sighed releasing a long breath , that I didn't knew I was holding in . Hearing his voice , I was suddenly seeking his presence beside me.
"Hello son! I was about to call you but you beat me to i----........"
"DAD!!!!!!"
I cried calling for him, interrupting him in between his words.
"WAYO!!!! Baby~~~ are you alright !!!" I quickly covered my mouth with my left hand. SHIITT!!
What am I doing?? I should stop. He is already stressed with all his work loads and now I am to burden him more.
"Baby!!! Are you there? What happened?? Why aren't you sa-...." He sounded worried.
"Daddy........ I am a-lright. D-Don't w..or-ry, everything is f-ine here." I bit my lips in an attempt to stop them from shaking.
"Then why are you crying?" his voice turned cold. He noticed my stammering.
"Its nothing daddy. I a-m really ok." I blinked my eyes trying to get rid of excess tears. They were making my eyes blurry and sour.
"Stop lying to me baby." His voice soften. "I know something is hurting you. Don't keep it away from me . Please talk to me Yo!"
I was trying really hard to stop myself from being weak to his cares.
"I ..... I m-iss mom!"
"I do too Yo. I do too." I heard him sigh on the other line.
".....and I m-iss you too." I said to lighten his mood a little
"Aww! You do. I thought you don't miss me anymore." Seriously , is he sulking on me now.
"Dad, grow up already . Sulking doesn't suits you anymore." I chuckled imagining the face he must be making right now. "You are too old for that now."
"Whatever! " he said obviously annoyed or he was just trying to act as one , making me giggle. "Atleast now you stopped crying."
I went silent listening to him. No matter how hard I tried to escape from his enquiries , he still saw through my act.
Why did I ever called him in the first place...
I have always been mama's boy but after she was gone dad has been both a father and mother figure to me. Of course being a businessman, work took most of his time, leaving me under the care of P'Klah.
But never in those years he failed to show his presence, care and love to me. He never missed telling me how much I mattered to him.
"So now, will you start telling me what exactly happened to you. What got you to cry your eyes out like that." I was about to dismise his words but what he said next got my tongue tied.
."..... and don't ever think of lying to me, again. You know I will catch your lies, right away." I sighed again listening to him . I guess I don't have any other option but to tell him. What exactly happened.
I took a deep breaths before telling him. "Dad!"
"Yes kiddo!" he said sounding attentive.
"I don't know how to say this. I don't wanna burden you with my problems. " my lips felt dry as I said those words.
"Just tell me Wayo!" He never liked me being formal with him. He always preferred direct talks without unnecessary dragging of things.
I licked my lips thinking how to discuss my romantic life with my father. I felt awkward gathering the words I was going to tell him.
"I –I messed up big time"
"Huhh!" Here I was mustering my courage to start telling him things and he just 'huhh-ed' me.
