Peter Parker Fanfics 💖

Sleepover

This chapter is based on the song Sleepover by Hayley Kiyoko. 

As this chapter heavily features anxiety as a major theme, if you do suffer from anxiety I recommend that you do not read on, however if you want to continue reading, I hope that it gives you comfort and makes you feel less alone.

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For the past few days, Adam had not been exactly himself and although he tried to make sure that Peter didn't notice, he wanted him to. He felt so alone, even when he was in bed with Peter at night. He didn't really to talk about it because he felt that it would give what he was feeling more power and he also didn't want to burden Peter with his feelings. 

Peter had noticed that something was up, but wasn't showing it and yet Adam was sure that he wouldn't understand why he felt alone when they were holding hands, or sleeping together. It wasn't that he was falling out of love with Peter, because he loved him more than he even knew and nothing would be able to change that, yet Adam's heart was breaking for no reason and it hurt him. 

It surprised Adam that what he felt was even real, because your loved ones are supposed to make you feel less alone. He felt as if something was wrong with him and it was really bugging him that he was feeling like this. At night, Adam would get up slowly, trying not to wake Peter and sit by the living room window and look out at the lights of New York City, twinkling like stars. He would watch the sky get brighter as the sun came up, before getting back into bed with Peter and pretending to sleep so that he didn't wake up and know that something was wrong. 

This happened for days on end before, when Adam has finally slipped out the room and sat down by the living room window, Peter woke up and felt that Adam was no longer in bed with him. Getting out of bed, he saw that the bedroom door was open and something made him walk out into the living room where he saw Adam sitting by the window and staring at the lights of the city.

He grabbed the comforter from the sofa and sat down by Adam's side, before wrapping the both of them up in the blanket. Adam didn't rest his head on Peter's shoulder, instead he froze as if having Peter beside him felt like a thousand red hot knives stabbing his skin repeatedly. 

"What is it?" Peter asked him. Adam didn't say anything but acknowledged that Peter was trying to comfort him. He didn't say anything but he tried, although nothing came out of his mouth, so Adam just sat there by the window and stared at the lights of the city as he always did. 

Peter didn't get angry and he was upset but he didn't show it, so he sat by the window with Adam, knowing that having him there would bring him some kind of comfort on a certain level. 

It was hours until Adam answered Peter's question that he had asked, "I don't know, I just feel like I'm alone even when I'm with you, even we are holding hands or something like that. But there is nothing more I want right now than for you to hold me, I want you to tell me that you can't eat, can't sleep, can't breathe without me. I feel like I'm missing a part of me and I didn't know what to do until just a few moments ago. You know how much I love you right?"

Peter looked at Adam who had turned to look at him, and he answered "I know you do, but I need you to not hide from me, because I'll understand even when you think that I won't. I'll always be here".

Adam kissed Peter's softly and Peter wrapped his arms around him tightly, holding him close to him and letting Adam calm down.  When they moved to their bedroom, Peter opened his curtains before got into bed first, Adam got in after him and Peter immediately wrapped his arms around him, holding him close to his chest and Adam snuggled his head into Peter's neck, focusing on his breathing and inhaling the scent of Peter that he loved so much, as well as watching the stars in the sky twinkle before finally falling asleep in Peter's arms.