Bungo stray dogs on crack i gave them

CoCaINe in ze agenZeE

@sushi comes in with a bag full of white sUgAr. "Uh- this random guy on the streets said this was sugar.. So i thought you would want it, Ranpo-san." The pure and innocent baby said as he put the not actually white sugar on ranpos desk. " Hmmm... " Ranpo observed the substance before putting on his glasses, but not opening his eyes. "..uhm.. Atsushi-kun?" Ranpo called. " Uh- Yes Ranpo-san? " atsushi turned to gaze at ranpo. "Uh.. This isnt.. Exactly white sugar.. It uhm.. Cocaine-" " Cocaine? <<<<:? " Dazai burst in. "Dazai. No. I'm taking this to the president so he can drop it off at the Police office." Ranpo snarled. Hiding the bag.

" Ranpooo~ Pleeaasee i havent had it in yeaarrss.. " Dazai whimpered unhappily to try and guilt trip Ranpo. " you did drugs as a kid?? >> " Ranpo pulled the bag farther away. "The port mafia encouraged me to." " so is that why Nakahara is is angry and bratty? Because he's doing coke? " "Wh- no he never did cocaine. He's just like that." Ranpo grumbled in defeat because he wanted to put more things on Chuuyas criminal record. " Damn. "

"Pleeaasee can i have sommee?~ I'll be your dog for a week." Dazai pleaded. " i dont need a dog. " "But I'll buy you snacks with my moneeyy~" Ranpo looked at him. "Areyoufuckingserious?" Ranpo asked. " Mhm! And I'll do anything you want me to. " Ranpo blinked at him in hesitation. "....fine.." Ranpo sighed. Dazai hugged him. " Thank you best frriiieenndd! " Dazai hugged Ranpo and he sighed. "If you steal the whole bag im calling a drug addiction helpline."  Ranpo glared at him before giving him a bag.

Kunikida walked in to Ranpo walking out of the presidents office, Atsushi staring at Dazai. And Dazai was having a fucking seizure while sitting upright. "..Ranpo, what the fuck happened to Dazai..?" He glanced over at Ranpo who was sitting back down. " He snorted cocaine because he agreed to be my dog for a week. Dont worry, the cocaine was taken care of. " Ranpo kicked his legs back. "..I-is the president okay with this..??" Kunikida questioned. " Eh, didnt mention. Im pretty sure its okay. " Ranpo sighed, taking out some chips and biting into it. Kunikida silently turned to Dazai who was rubbing his head against his desk with somehow no problem at all while making weird noises. Kunikida silently turned away to start working.

In the middle of the day, Chuuya somehow found his way in, having to deliver some random shit to Dazai just to find him looking at the roof, not even fucking blinking. "Ey- Dazai i-" he was cut off by Dazai's weird position. "..what kind of drugs did he take to end up like this??" Chuuya turned to Ranpo. " Cocaine. " he replied swiftly, munching on snacks. "Wait what-" Chuuya looked over at Dazai who was now staring directly at him. "Ah shit- uh." Chuuya walked up to him. " ugh- this is the only way i can make him recognizing me, hold on-" chuuya took in a deep breath. "Heeyyy~ its baabee.. I brought you some new books okaayy?~" He said, his voice was soft, but his face was disgusted. He looked over at Ranpo. "I had to do this when he was in the port mafia." He added before gazing back at Dazai. Dazai blinked and looked up at him, innocently. " yourr cutteee.. " he mumbled slightly. Chuuya put the books down. "Mhm, yeah. I got to go now, please dont follow me." He said as he started backing out. "NoooOoo- ChuUu chUuu-" Dazai screeched unhappily as Chuuya slammed the door.

Work was ended and Dazai was slowly coming back to normal. Dazai slightly rubbed his head, feeling dizzy. But started working for the first time today. Ranpo packed up his things and started walking until he got to Dazai. He slammed his hands on Dazai's desk making Dazai jump and slowly look up at him. "Your my dog, starting tomorrow, dont you forget that." Ranpo smirked and walked away, leaving Dazai horrified to what would happen next. Dazai slowly and cautiously packed up his things and left.

Welp, may i die now?

Word count: 694