Unnoticed Love

1

Yet another week at work and another unnoticed day of me being around. After the first week or so of me being around, the hype around my arrival had died down and then everyone acted as if I had always been there. But lately, people started to forget I was even around. I went into work last week for the first time after being sick and Ryan was super confused when I said 'I'm back.'

Not only that but I would be working at my desk and Cameron or one of the other boys would be surprised to see me at my desk saying, "I forgot you were here today," or "You scared me, how long have you been here?". At first, it didn't bother me as much, but now it does. It seems I've just become an invisible person.

It was about noon when Ryan walked up behind me. "How's the work coming?" He asked leaning down and looking over my shoulder. 

"Good, almost finished with today's work and then I'm gonna fix some editing equipment for Blue." I said with a smile looking up at him. "Cool, well the boys are having a party tonight with some other YouTubers, do you wanna join us?" Ryan smiled. It was the first time in a long time that I had been asked to share dinner or go do something with the boys.

"Of course I would! Where's it gonna be?" "Just at the house, nothing fancy," Ryan spoke, "Just bring yourself and some food." He said walking away. I smiled. You could count on me. A couple of bags of chips and some ice cream should do the trick. I wrote down a reminder for myself on a sticky note and stuck it to the back of my phone. 

After finishing the last of my tasks I went over to Blue's office and knocked on the door. "Come in." I stepped in and found him on his phone. "What's up?" "I just need some of the cables looked at inside my computer." It sounded simple to me. I got down on my knees and Blue handed me some tools, as I tore apart the computer and got to work looking at the cables. "I think something chewed through the wires."

As I examined things to the best of my abilities, Toby walked in and asked Blue for a couple of things before the two of them stepped out leaving me alone to work. I found the problem. A couple of wires were disconnected, but not chewed through, and a couple of chips were misplaced. I did my best to put them back together and make sure the computer was still running properly before standing and stretching. 

I looked for Blue and found him talking with Toby over by Ryan's office. I walked up nervously, It was still really hard for me to talk to the Misfits, I was always intimidated by there big personalities even though we had a lot in common and they were always very kind.

"Hey, Blue, I fixed the computer." 

"You did? What was wrong with it?"

"Some wires were loose and two chips had fallen out of place." I spoke. He thanked me for fixing it. 

"Are you coming tonight?" Toby asked. I nodded, a little surprised that he would assume I'd be going to there party. "Yeah, I'm going. I'm gonna bring food too." "Cool! It's at 7." Toby added. I gave him the thumbs up and then excused myself to let them finish there conversation. I walked to my desk and grabbed my things, getting ready to go home for the day. 

I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked toward the elevator when I ran into him. 

"Oh, I'm sorry! Are you alright?"

I looked up at him. He was looking at me. I could feel the room getting warmer. I hadn't fully registered what he had said. "What?" "Are you okay?" Eric asked looking at me. I let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, I'm-I'm okay. I just needed to watch where I was going." I spoke.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I wasn't paying attention either." He smiled. His smile almost made me collapse to the floor and melt into the floorboards. I clutched to my bag, holding onto it as if it were some sort of lifesaver as if it could save me from melting away. Eric noticed me clutching the strap of my bag. "You heading out." 

"Yeah. I've got to pick up stuff for tonight." I replied with a smile. "Alright. Well, see you around." And then just like that, he walked away. I wish he hadn't. I made my way to the elevator and stepped inside with a sigh. It's funny. A year ago I was just another fan, who had this big crush on Swagger. But now I work with him and we could be considered friends. Not close friends. More like acquaintances. But still friends in a way.

I continued to think about Eric my entire way home. How his dark brown eyes stared straight into mine, his clean-shaven face, his gorgeous smile. But I eventually put it out of my mind. I had more important things to focus on tonight. After reaching the house, I gave my mom a call. 

"Hello?"

"Hey, mom! How's it going?" I smiled, it was nice to hear her voice again. "Oh, Cris! It's so good to hear from you! Everything has been going great over here! How's the job going?" My mom asked. "Good, I'm getting a lot done," I didn't want to explain to her again how I was working with people on Youtube, "Is dad there?" I asked.

"No, He's out at the moment. He's never home as often anymore. To be honest, I've thought he might be having an affair." My mom confided. I was disgusted at the thought of my 59-year-old father out with a younger woman and not with my mother. "He says he's working but he doesn't come home until after we would normally have dinner."

"I don't think dad would do something like that mom. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Dad just probably has lots to do at work." I reassured her. She agreed. "Your probably right." "Look, mom, I've got to go for the evening. My boss is hosting a work party." 

"Alright dear, I'll let you go. Love you! And I miss you!" My mom spoke. I said goodbye and ended the call. I got ready for the evening and bought the chips and ice cream before driving over to the Misfit's house. I walked in without knocking, walked to the kitchen and set down the treats before Ryan hollered for me to come over the couch. 

I waved as I approached. "Hey Cris, You straight edge?" Ryan asked. He was stoned. "Sort of..." I replied. "What do you mean sort of?" Ryan asked. "I did LSD in high school. Regreted it and promised myself I'd never do it again." I explained. "You're okay with weed though right?" Cam asked from across the couch. I shrugged. "Yeah, you hit a bong?" Mason asked. He was sitting on the floor. "I haven't, no."

"Wanna try it?" Mason asked holding it up and swirling it around. I hesitated. "It's not like Lsd." Cam promise. I shrugged.  "Why not." "Wait, wait! She needs to start with the real stuff first." Eric said. Everyone collectively agreed. I took a seat nervously between Cam and Ryan, as I watched Eric fumble to roll up a joint and light it. He took a huff of it before he passed it to me.

I took it. Not sure how to hold it, I placed it up to my lips and breathed in a little. When I exhaled I coughed a bit but kept my composure and handed it back to Eric. Matt started to talk about Twitter posts with Jay and the conversation continued as the marijuana settled in my system. I was beginning to feel more comfortable. 

"You good?" Cam asked me after some time had passed. I nodded. "Yeah, I feel good." "Think you could handle the bong?" I nodded even though I wasn't necessarily sure I could. He had Sam pass it over and he showed me how to use it before letting me try. 

About an hour in and I was high off my rocker. I was sitting with Cam and Mason in the kitchen listening to them talk as we ate ice cream together. Mason and I had mixed some of the potato chips I had brought into our ice cream's and Cam put gummy bears into his. "Yo, imagine dating a gummy bear." Mason blurted.

"What the fuck dude?" Cam laughed. "I'd be the best." Mason continued. I chuckled. "Wait I never asked. Are you dating anyone?" Cam asked me. "Nope. But I like someone." I spoke. I didn't mean to say that. But it was too late. "Who?" Cam asked shoveling another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.  

"Eric." I didn't mean to say that. Cam almost choked on his ice cream and Mason started making and Ooooo! sound. "But you gotta promise not to tell!" I corrected myself. "Okay." Cam shrugged. Mason smirked. "Mason, promiseee." "I promiseee." He teased back. I finished my ice cream and walked into the living room, Eric passed out on the couch, Ryan and Sam on there phones and Matt and Jay running around. 

I sat on the floor and just watched everything. Everything felt right. Even though I wasn't clearly sober, I knew I was in the right place. With my people. With people, I looked up to. And I was happy.