Chapter 12: the Joanne Saga

Breakdown

Dianne's POV

I was sat in a taxi taking me back to my flat. I could not believe I had forgotten about my date with Anthony! How could I have been so stupid?! The traffic was a bit heavy tonight as well, and we occasionally got stuck in fairly long traffic light lines, adding to my steadily rising stress levels. This is only making me even later.

Is Anthony already there? He's going to be thinking I stood him up in favour of Joe. I needed to get back home, get ready and get to the restaurant as quick as I can, so he doesn't get any ideas. He already has a grudge against Joe. It doesn't need to be made worse.

I looked at my phone and my heart skipped a few beats when I saw the texts I got from Anthony. Looking at the timestamps in which he sent them, Joe and I were still asleep when he texted me. My stress levels rose even further. While my boyfriend was sat alone in a restaurant waiting for me, I was lazing around with a man he's already jealous of.

It's so annoying, I shouldn't be worrying about what Anthony will say about Joe. I should be worrying about what he'll say to me. It's my fault for getting distracted. It's my fault for being so scatter-brained. I'm the one who suggested this whole thing, and I'm the one not following through. I'm the one who insisted we do this at the most inconvenient time, I should have seen this coming. I should have waited. And now all this is happening. What does that say about me as a girlfriend?! I'm so pathetic!

I entered my flat and went straight to the bathroom. My shaky hands clutched the sides of the sink as I bowed my head in shame. Joe had told me to keep my chin up, but I could not stop beating myself up for forgetting about this. How could I let myself forget? Anthony is going to be so disappointed in me.

Tears collected in my eyes and threatened to fall, so I ran my flannel under the tap and washed my face, releasing some of the tension away. I looked up and stared into my reflection's eyes. I could feel myself slowly descending into a panic again, so I inhaled slowly and then exhaled. Then I counted to ten a few times, just like Joe had done for me back in the studio, finally calming myself down and allowing room for rational thought.

My mind went back to Joe. I remembered what he had done for me from the moment we first started dance training together, and I remembered how he had calmed me down earlier. He wouldn't want to see me like this. Just like earlier, he'd do his best to get me to calm down. He'd probably make a joke to make me smile. What else would Joe do? I know, he'd make me see and focus on the positive side of the situation. I know he would. Just like he did earlier. Like he said, I had to remember my "positive attracts positive" motto. It's something I tell myself almost every day, so I can't falter now.

I ran my hands across my face and hair, sharpening my focus. "Pull yourself together, Dianne," I told myself, "It's an honest mistake. If Anthony loves you, it'll be alright." I remind myself of what Joe told me.

I move away from the sink a bit, a little impressed with myself. "Yeah, that's right Di. Tonight's about improving the relationship and finding that spark again," I continue shakily, but surer of myself, "Try not to worry until the actual thing." Admittedly, I was still worrying, but at least I wasn't as panicky as before. I won't know what Anthony will be like until I go and find out for myself.

I went to my bedroom to change my clothes. I chose something that wasn't too fancy, just casual and smart, but anything would be a step up from what I wore to my dance training session. I also dig out my makeup bag and put some makeup on. I didn't put too much on, but I had to look presentable for Anthony. This is technically a date, after all, I can't turn up looking like I just walked out of a dance lesson.

I probably would have made more of an effort to look better, but time was against me here. I was already running late. I ordered an Uber to the small restaurant we booked, and eventually, but not soon enough for my liking, I left.