After The Party (A Kurt Cobain fanfic)

Chapter 37

Both of them broke their promise within hours. In the four days they had between that night and the next Nirvana show Kurt used more heavily than Lily had ever seen. She shot up too, but not as much as him, and more so for the comradery than anything else. Either way they were basically high the rest of the time they were in New York.

The rest of the band noticed but said nothing, they just watched like their relationship was a car crash they couldn't look away from.

On the the morning of Nirvana's surprise show in Seattle, the entire posse boarded a plane to get back to the west coast in time for the gig. Lily sat between Kurt and Dave and the former fell asleep almost immediately after the plane took off.

"How's he feeling?" Dave whispers and Lily shrugs.

"He's...he's fine" She says, looking down at her tray table. Dave sighs and shakes his head as she avoids eye contact with him. He was over this game she was playing.

"Lil, this needs to stop. He can't be on drugs anymore" He says and she feels the blood drain from her face, "For both of you, not to mention for us" He adds, motioning to the rest of the band and crew.

"He's going to stop this weekend, I swear after the show he'll be done—we have a plan." Lily says anxiously.

"What's the plan?" Dave asks, sounding unconvinced.

"We're going to go back to Aberdeen, reconnect with each other and our values. We've been too wrapped up in all the insanity of this, we need to remind ourselves where we came from" She explains.

"What happens when we leave for the next tour? We start the Australian leg on the in a week and a half, what happens then?" He says aggressively and Lily is startled. Usually she and Dave are always on the same page, always on each other's team—she couldn't remember the last time she had argued with him.

"Do you not trust me?" She asks in a sharp and defensive tone.

"Lately it seems like I can't trust either of you" He mutters, his eyes flitting to Kurt for a split second.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I know you're using too, I mean you haven't stopped tapping on your seat since we sat down, you're talking like you've had about twelve cups of coffee, not to mention you look strung out—when was the last time you slept a full night?" He hisses and Lily looks down at her hands. She hadn't even noticed her tapping.

"I'm fine." Lily practically snarls.

She didn't appreciate being babied by him. He didn't understand everything they were going through, no one could understand all that was going on but her and Kurt.

"Hopps—you're not fine. We don't want to lose you, either of you, and we're all really scared that we might. We love you, you guys are our family and we're scared for our family."

His concern strips away the protective guard Lily had put on at the start of the conversation. She has to take a deep breath before she responds as to not cry. She knows if she cries he'll know that he's right and she can't let him know that.

"I promise, after tonight Kurt will be done with drugs. I promise. Please trust me." She says, truly believing what she says as she says it, "But please, don't make this show about that. I've been under a lot of stress lately and all I want is to be able to see my favorite band play a surprise hometown show. Please, please let me have that."

Dave looks hesitant but nods. He looks out the window wistfully and Lily squeezes his shoulder.

"I have it under control Davey, I promise." She whispers, "Can we just have this be a normal day?"