After The Party (A Kurt Cobain fanfic)

Chapter 40

Hi guys! Sorry this is so long but I promise it is worth it, please try to read this one to the end... love you all and thanks for everything!!!

"That one looks like a ghost" Teddy giggles pointing up at the clouds above their heads.

"It does kind of, I see the resemblance" Lily laughs, wrapping her arm around her little brother's shoulders as they laid on the grass.

"It looks more like a monster to me" Her sister April, squinting at the sky and taking a bite of a twizzler.

It was a rare sunny spring day in Aberdeen, and Lily had driven down from Seattle to spend time with her family during the nice weather. Currently her and her siblings were in a park by the river, eating snacks and picking out shapes in the clouds.

"I'm going to go grab the trail mix mom made. Do you guys need anything from the car?" Lily asks and they both shake their heads. Lily gets up without another word and heads toward where they had parked.

Just as she turns out of the park and onto the street she sees a sight that makes her stop in her tracks. He doesn't see her yet, but she's too stunned to move so only a few seconds later he looks up looking even more shocked than her, if that was possible.

He looked so frail, even though it had only been a few months since she'd last seen him he'd seemed to have lost a significant amount of weight. Not only that but everything about him seemed more subdued: his skin was a sickly grey, his hair looked brittle, and his clothes were dirty.

"Hey" She says in a stunned tone.

"Hi...I ...I thought you were in Seattle" Kurt says. He was just as astounded as her, he had barely even worried about running into her, he was much more scared of seeing her parents or mutual friends. But here she was, standing in front of him in ripped jeans and a Seattle Mariners sweatshirt, a visualization of the life he hadn't let himself imagine in months; an apparition showing him what life could be in a world where they were still together.

"I'm visiting my siblings" Lily replies, her mouth still hanging open.

"Oh." He says in a quiet tone, "I'm doing the same. That's why I'm here too."

"Oh are you meeting them on the side of the road at 4 pm?" Lily asks. She was trying to be funny but it came out sounding accusatory and rude.

"I needed to get away from everyone for a bit" He explains, "So I came down to the river, you know me."

"Sure." She says, offering a soft smile.

She had imagined a billion times in the past few months what she would do if she saw Kurt again, what she would say to him, if she would even speak to him at all. But now that he was right in front of her she wasn't able to give him the cold shoulder or ignore him like she'd planned too. He was too pitiful and sickly and lost; she felt bad for him.

"How've you been?" He asks and she shrugs.

"Fine." She says, looking down at the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

"I heard you were in rehab."

"Yeah. I got out last month." Lily states uncomfortably. She goes to look at his arms, see if she can detect any track marks on them, but halts when her eye lands on his left hand.

"So its true..." She whispers, unable to take her eyes off the ring on his finger. He sees what she's looking at and looks down at his feet, shoving the hand into his pocket uncomfortably.

"What?" He says weakly, not making eye contact.  She could tell he felt ashamed, that was why he was playing dumb, but she was too devastated and betrayed to even consider feeling sympathetic anymore.