After The Party (A Kurt Cobain fanfic)

Chapter 39

Hey guys! Sorry I kinda took a week off randomly there, I hope I didn't keep you guys waiting too long. Anyway this chapter was hard to write but I hope you enjoy :)

"Good work today everyone. Lily especially, thank you for finally sharing about your ex-fiancé being your old using partner and why you came to New Beginnings. It was a step forward for all of us in terms of understanding your addiction" The counselor Georgia says as she wraps up the meeting.

Everyone else in the room, all dozen or so of them, claps while Lily smiles awkwardly. She still hated being the center of attention. After a second they all begin stacking up chairs and she's able to blend into the group again, the way she liked it here.

She had been at a rehab just outside of Seattle for over three weeks now and was genuinely glad she was there. She didn't exactly prefer it to being backstage at Saturday Night Live or in a hotel room in Paris, but it was better than being—or enabling—a drug addict.

"Hey do you want to go down to the rec room? I think some of us are going to play cards before we go to bed" Asks Lily's roommate Stacy.

"Yeah let me just finish cleaning up in here, I'll be down in a few"

As Lily continues stacking up chairs and clearing off the tables she thinks again about what she talked about in group. She goes over for the millionth time whether it was right to bring up Kurt today. She hadn't used his name or given any details about his job, but she was worried about sharing too much of his private life when he was such a public figure. This wasn't his trip to rehab, this was about Lily getting better.

It wasn't that she didn't think about him, in fact it was the opposite. She thought about him all the time, every single day. Whether or not he was enjoying his trips to Australia and Japan, whether he was still using, whether him and Dave were getting along any better. She wondered whether he missed her as much as she missed him, if he felt an actual pain in his chest that never went away.

She sighed to herself and reminded herself again to try to stop thinking about it, that nothing good was coming from reminding herself how much she missed him. Instead she heads down the hall to the rec room.

When she walks in she's surprised to see MTV on the TV in the center of the room.

"Whoa when did we get this channel?" She asks as she sits down at the table with everyone else who would be playing cards.

"That kid over there" Explains Jake, one of the other patients, motioning to a teenage boy pacing in the corner, "Apparently the only thing that keeps him from smoking meth is MTV and the Discovery Channel. And his dad works for Microsoft so he made a really big donation and asked them to use part of it for basic cable in the rec room."

"Lucky us" Lily replies emotionlessly, shifting her chair so her back was to the screen, "Deal me in."

Unluckily for Lily, not 2 minutes after the card game began she heard the familiar ba-doom, ba-doom, BA-DOOM, drum beat and the oh so recognizable guitar riff coming out of the TV's speakers. She closes her eyes and silently groans, hoping no one was paying too much attention to the video. Unfortunately, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was the biggest video on TV and Nirvana was now the biggest band in the world, so naturally everyone's attention immediately switched away from the game to the screen.

"Fuck I love this song" Screams the kid in the corner, banging his fist on the table and receiving a warning look from one of the nurses.

"Hometown heroes man, I'm telling you. Its so cool they're from here—I almost feel like I know them" Says Stacy, "You know my cousin's best friend lived in the same apartment building as Krist Novoselic in Tacoma. And my old roommate's ex-boyfriend once saw Kurt Cobain at a party. Its so weird to think I was almost in the same social circles as them"