Fuck feelings because I love you,
Fuck feelings because I hate it.
I hate that I love you.
I hate that I never told you how much I love you from the start. I hate that when you confessed to me you like me I acted like I didn't care even tho I liked you back.
I hate that every time I see you I need to look somewhere else because of how nervous I am when you're around.
I hate that she likes you the way I do. I hate that I love her because she's my friend and I can't tell her I love you too.
I hate these fucking feelings all the time. It makes me so sad to keep my feelings inside.
I hate that I love you, it makes me cry. I hate that I can't do anything to change the past. I hate how much time we have lost and will lose until we stop.
I hate that I can't pretend anymore. I hate that I love you but I don't want you know. I hate myself for doing this, for being like this. Letting you go just because my friend likes you. Hiding my feelings just because she likes you. Crying every night because I regret every second we spend together since I pushed you out because I know it all would be better now but I fucked up.
I hate how much I know you and how much different but alike we are.
I hate how insecure I am about myself that I think that if she confesses to you you will choose her over me.
I hate how much I hate me even if I don't admit it. I hate pretending to be confident even knowing how antisocial I am because of insecurities. I hate that I never told you I was into you because I thought I was ugly and was gonna mess everything up.
I love you till.
I love the way your deep blue eyes look at mine even though I never liked blue eyes before. They're so intimidating that I can't look back.
I love when we talk and share things no one else knows.
I love that I know you can be serious if I need you to or make me smile if I feel down.
I love how asshole you are. I love you don't care what other people say, and I think I should learn that.
I love the way you are even though I know I don't know you that much.
I hate you, I love you. I hate that I love you. She wants you. I just can't . This secret will die inside.
YOU ARE READING
Mixed emotions
PoetryThese are just like my diary, but the only difference is that I wanted them to be known... I have lots of secrets that I'll keep forever, some of them will be here... some of them wont.
