I'm Sorry

Part 10

Ten minutes had passed since Kyuhyun stopped talking. Everyone except him frozen as they're trying so hard to absorb every bit of what Kyuhyun just said. They hope it was just a dream passing by, but reality hits them hard.

Kyuhyun was the one who started the silence and he's one to broke the silence too. "I know I...shouldn't have made that decision myself. All I can think of was how I should prevent the disbanding from happening. There's no way I'd let that happen, after everyone's hardwork to maintain the group. I know that everyone treasure this group a lot and..."

"..."

"The members are important to me. I'm doing that as much as I treasure everyone here."

Heechul sighs but it sounds like he's refraining the tears before leaving everyone else in the room. "I'm getting fresh air." Unexpectedly others followed. Only Ryeowook, Donghae, Leteeuk and Sungmin stayed watching the hopeless Kyuhyun avoiding eye contacts, gazing on the grey plain carpeted floor.

"Are you always this selfish, Kyuhyun?" Donghae sighs. Kyuhyun might not see him yet from his voice he knew Donghae silently starts crying. The guy is a hidden cry baby in the group and Kyuhyun knows that very well. "You should... You should always answer whenever someone asked you a damn question! Damn it!!"

The same goes to Ryeowook who had his head ducked the moment Kyuhyun started talking. He didn't sob yet he lets his tears falls silently and cry a silent river. Thud! Ryeowook fell down on his knees gaining other's attention especially, Kyuhyun. Leeteuk got a phone call and he left the cold room while Sungmin reflexively helped Ryeowook to get up on his knees before Kyuhyun does.

"I hate you."

The piercing words came from Ryeowook himself towards Kyuhyun who helplessly staring at him in guilt.

At this moment there's nothing he could really do, other than swallowing tsunami of guilt that kept on increasing no matter he tried dodging them off.

-

For this so called special day, Kyuhyun had to be dressed in grey suit and black hair combed to the back, revealing his milky forehead. Everyone was stunned by his handsome appearance. It's as if seeing a modern prince came out from movie. That was not Cho Kyuhyun before them, they thought. That is a figure of the new heir of SM.

Stay still.

Despite his legs fidgeting under the table, those two words were like a mantra of life for today.  He had to stay still otherwise he would receive his father's death glare for not being a so obedient son. The meeting for discussion about his soon-to-be CEO being started about two hours ago.

If he were told to be honest, he doesn't even know what the elders were talking about. A while ago they argue while some time ago they nodded showing some kind of agreement. Whatever those were he doesn't give a sole damn because business was never his thing and will never be. 

Singing and being with Super Junior is his passion, no one will ever change about that.

"That's all for today. We'll be meeting again next week."

Without further a do after checking his watch in the last minute, Kyuhyun dashed off from the meeting room towards the practice room. From the window he could see the members are practicing hard with their sincere heart. The comeback will be in two months. Sure they are preparing something special for the fans. 

Standing near the window he watched them practicing with a soft smile. As he's about open the door he stopped when a thing crossed his mind. I should be there practicing with them since my contract hasn't end yet but is my presence worth being there after what happened?  Kyuhyun thought when suddenly Sungmin opened the door, making him stumble backward. 

"Hyung." Kyuhyun greeted with a forced smile, trying not to look nervous as he was.

Sungmin closed the door behind him and look at the maknae from head to toe. "Hell no. Cho Kyuhyun? Is that really you?"

"It's me, hyung." Kyuhyun smiled. This time the smile was not forced. 

"You look a lot like a gentleman now." Sungmin chuckled as he patted Kyuhyun on shoulder. 

"You're saying I was never a gentleman?" Kyuhyun gasp softly. 

"I'm just kidding! But you look really handsome right now. This is not like you at all."

"So what you're trying to say right now is that I was never handsome until today?" Kyuhyun shook his head, gaining a smack on chest from the older. "Alright, alright I'm just playing with you, hyung. Anyway, you knew that I'm here? I thought you can't see who's outside the room from the widow..."

"Member instinct." Sungmin shrugged and walked away. "Follow me."

Kyuhyun never thought he'd get an ice cream treat outside the building. He thanked Sungmin for the treat after the two hectic hours. The fresh air hits them as they are now seated on bench.

"How are the members doing? It's been two weeks since that day." Kyuhyun voice out calmly.

"They're adjusting." 

"I see...Weren't you disappointed at me, hyung?"

"I was, because you didn't tell us from the beginning. But then I gave a thought about your sacrifice for Super Junior. If I were you I would do the same. This group means a lot to me too. Yet I never thought you'd be so brave standing up to yourself like that for others." Sungmin smiled sadly. "Actually, most of the reason why they're mad is because you made a decision without discussing with them."

"If I told everyone about it before I made the decision then it's the same like putting troubles on everyone's career, hyung."

Sungmin raised an eyebrow. "You mean?"

"This is all about me hyung. My father threatened me for disbanding Super Junior if I refused being the next CEO. I thought everyone will think nonsense about it that's why..."

"You don't trust us?" Sungmin frowned.

"No. I trust the members more than you know, hyung. Telling you guys and doing nothing is the same as leading Super Junior to its disbandment."

Sungmin clicked his tongue. "I know, I understand and...The members are trying to understand you as well. Teukie hyung hasn't been speaking normally with others until now, same as Heechul hyung and others."

"How is Ryeowook?"

"He's been crying since then."

Kyuhyun felt his heart got stabbed in an instant. Just hearing it from Sungmin made him feel like that, how about seeing it for real? He rubbed his face with his hands and heave a deep sigh for the day. 

"Damn it."

"Go see him, Kyu."

"I can't. He hates me."

"He doesn't." Sungmin argued.

"He hates me, hyung!" Tears are forming on Kyuhyun's eye. "He told me that he hates me. How am I supposed to see him after I made him cry since then!?"

"But I see a different thing there, despite what he said. Well, the result is different too."

Kyuhyun scoffed, is Sungmin joking right now? "What?"

"I can't believe you can't see it! He just hates you because you're leaving soon, that's all and I could see how much he wants you to stay, Kyu."