Jizzy's POV
As I as i slowly and calmly walk towards my office, my heart farts and my stomach does around 13 backflips. With a little skip in my step and an uncontainable fart (I accidentally let it out), I try my best to keep it professional and accidentally end up soiling my pants with my diarrhea. I stop to think of how grateful I am to be in such a situation.
I enter the office and I see Jongho dabbing and then stabbing diligently at his computer, his eyes closed the whole time, occasionally flirting with the mouse meticulously. I smile to myself at the seductive stare he gives whilst dabbing. He looks up and notices me, and I quickly look away with an embarrassed fart, gosh im really gassy today. I can't help it, I had beans for lunch. And breakfast. And dinner. And teatime. All day, every day 24/7
Beans beans, they're good for your heart the more u eat the more gas u pass. Oh wait thats wroong yeah. But he sends me a cold smile and gestures for me to come over. I take long, awkward strides over to him like slender man as he stands up.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" He asks.
"No."
He grabs my left elbow harshly and takes me outside the room where the hallways are loud and full of dead bodies. HAHAHAHA OMG. Due to the height difference and the close proximity of our bodies, I breathe right into his eyeballs. He closes his eyes from the pressure. His next words cause both him and I to turn blue.
"I can't see."
Jongho's POV
"Are you blind?" asks Jizzy.
Her eyes disappeaR, and her body shapeshifts into a chicken. She panics and stutters. "Cluck Cluck Cluck Cluck Cluck." HAHAHAHHAAHHA
"What?"
"I mean- cluck?" IM DYING
HAHAHA I WISH I COULD HEAR U LAUGH RN AWWW HAHAH
"Would. You. Like. To. Die. With. Me?" I repeat slowly as if explaining how parents are made to an 84-year-old baby.
"Jongho..." She finally morphs back into a duck and is able to formulate a sentence unlike last time, and my heart rate slows down, killing me instantly. I prepare myself for my funeral. SKKKKSKSKSKS However, her tone gives away that her answer won't be what I hoped it would be. "I'm not actually a human. I'm an eagle slash elephant hybrid. Part penguin."
" I'm an ELEGLEPEG." she says.
My face morphs into an owl momentarily before I try to pick up a puppy from the street. I tense my jaw when she says, "I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable with being any kind of animal. I hope you understand." She takes the puppy from me and tosses it into a stranger's arms.
"I do but I also don't," I nod understandingly, and my nose scrunches as I try to ignore the fact that she farted and stunk up the whole room. It smells so bad, I'm gonna have to get a can of aerosol or some other scented spray to get rid of this ugh disCOSTANG. I turn around sharply and make my way to the store to get the spray.
I walk in and check if it's empty first to make sure that no one will be able to listen to my conversation. Then I pull out my phone and dial.
"Hello? It's Jongho. I need some air freshners. My office stinks. Really bad. Bring a few gas masks please. Seriously. You don't want to breathe this in."
Jisung's POV
So since I was there the entire time while PSY was giving Haechan some sort of proposition, I now know what it is. PSY is hosting a television show and he wants to make sure it's full of drama. So he's asked Haechan to marry Jizzy (Haechan's been assured he can get the marriage annulled after the show's been taped) and he'll be paid a million dollars but in korean money if he does it convincingly enough. I am so unhappy. I want that money. :(
"^#*!(!!!!!!!!!!!" The screeching noise alerts me to Chenle's presence.
"What's up Chenle?"
"*^#*&!&($&$(&%(!!?!!?e?!??????" said Chenel.
"What happened?"
"(OE@@@*&<@$$>(@$&*@," he said.
"YOU GOT PLASTIC SURGERY ON UR ASS??!?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!" I exclaim.
"&$(*(*((@)@##7&^!!"
"What do you mean because you were bored?!?!? NO ONE GETS PLASTIC SURGERY OUT OF THE BLUE BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO CHENLE."
"(((((*&**&&^((*&*())(*&&*((*&^"
"NO I'M NOT GOING TO FEEL IT!!!!!!!"
(5 minutes later)
Why did I touch his ass??? I have to wash my hands now, ughhhh. I turn on the water and wash my hands thoroughly, making sure I cleanse it with some soap as well. Then I pull out the hand sanitizer from my pocket so I can get rid of 99.99% of the germs.
Finally, my hands are as good as new.
Jongho suddenly barges into the bathroom and flings himself into the sink, letting gallons of water slide down his nose. He's going to drown if he keeps that up.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Cleaning my nose of the absolute STENCH in my office. It's so bad I don't think I'll be able to smell anything else for as long as I live!!!!" he cries.
"Oh okay." I move to leave the restroom but Jongho grabs hold of my collars with both of his hands.
"Don't tell anyone!!! Jizzy was definitely responsible for most of the smell, but I admit! I let out a couple of farts because I had Taco Bell for lunch. If you tell anyone about this, I will hurt the ones who love!!!!"
I pause. "Uhhhhhhh who would that be?"
Jongho gives me an incredulous look. "You don't love anyone????? At all?? What? I am confusion. I'll just... leave."
