With a Pinch of Salt ✓

IV

Wetting pants

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JIMIN dragged his suitcase into the penthouse with difficulty. And it was only the first of the three massive ones, two of which had been left outside the elevator.

He dragged it upstairs to his room and dumped it on his bed. Wiping his brow, his elbow nearly knocked off his wig had his fingers not caught the blonde locks on time. Why he needed one, he couldn't fathom. He vaguely remembered Hoseok pressing it on to him while they shopped for appropriate clothes. Jeans were a big no, since Jungkook didn't trust Jimin to avoid getting a boner (regardless of the fact that he didn't know that his landlord was a walking wet dream). Jimin could only imagine his straight friend almost contemplating switching to the bendy route, but hey, this ain't a Taekook fanfiction.

After fifteen minutes of dragging suitcases about, Jimin was of the opinion that one ought to be paid for such heavy work; simply making the heavy baggage reach their destination wasn't enough. As if on cue, the scent of freshly baked almond butter cookies wafted from downstairs.

He almost made a dash for the stairs but remembered that he was supposed to be in perfect disguise. He took a quick look in the mirror in his simply furnished room. Yes, his wig was a little out of place. Quickly adjusting it, he smoothed the creases on his skirt and pulled his beige stockings so that they straightened.

The cookies were singing his name and he couldn't resist the temptation anymore. All thoughts of trying to be as believable as possible left his mind. All that mattered was that he needed the taste of almond butter melting in his mouth.

*

As he stepped into the drawing room, he saw the cookies lying innocently on a plate. Next to them rested two cups of coffee. Jimin blanched when he spied the coffee. He hated the drink with passion.

He looked around to see any sign of his Greek God of a landlord.

'Maybe he went to the toilet,' he reasoned. Should he wait for the man to turn up? Basic courtesy dictated that he must.

He decided to distract himself by appreciating the other things in life. The beautiful furniture, the tasteful frills, the perfect brown cookies, the little bits of almond he could see in each biscuit, what a lovely combination with Chai Latte it would be-

Yes, Jimin's mouth was salivating.

It was pointless to deny him even a little nibble of such delight. Just one bite and nobody would notice. He would make sure to pick up the one he nibbled. And what a nibble it would be! So perfect, no one would be able to tell the difference between a whole biscuit and his nibbled one. He had to commend his genius-

"Ms. Park, I didn't take you for the greedy kind. A little patience ought to do you good."

Jimin dropped his cookie on his skirt when the rich baritone that was the centerpiece of his wet dreams slithered its way into his ears.

He braced himself for an awkward moment but what he saw when he turned to face his landlord with a ready-made excuse made his jaw drop.

As if to add vivid detail into the dreams that would certainly make him drop his panties (since he wasn't wearing boxers at the moment), Kim Taehyung wore simply a pair of pyjamas (that hung low on the waist). A dry towel diligently did its duty of drying his wet hair. The rest of his unclothed self, however, was a feast - no, a banquet to the eyes. Wet droplets of water clung to his abdomen like dew drops to a freshly bloomed tulip (roses were overrated). Even if he wasn't as robust as Jungkook, he had a lithe, supple body that showed signs of being exposed to frequent workout (if not as rigorous).

'What cliche yaoi am I an unwilling part of?' Jimin screamed, internally, of course.

For once, he regretted not being straight. Disguises were getting harder to keep and it was only his first day!

First the damned almond cookies (oh yes, they were very succulent) and now, this risqué man. Were all the gods against him today? Oh wait, he was going to Hell for being gay anyways so maybe the demons were against him.

"Ms. Park, you are daydreaming again. Kindly don't stare at me so, it's unnerving."

Jimin pursed his lips as a sign of awareness of his embarrassing behavior. Doing the most sensible thing that most girls would, he picked up two cookies and stuffed them in his mouth.

"Goshagohbaisir," he said with his mouth full and ran up the stairs.

Expressionless, Taehyung continued to dry his hair.

"Ugh, how much do I despise straight girls! It's for the best, I suppose."

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