Their Love, Their Life [A Bensler Fan Fic]

.Chapter Twenty-Two.

Amanda walked to the precinct, even if she didn't want too. She didn't want Cragen to come to her, and she didn't want a warrant to be out for her arrest. She took the elevator to the squad room and walked in. She stopped when she saw that Elliot and Olivia's desks were empty. She knew that Olivia wouldn't be back, but she thought that maybe Elliot and a temp would be sitting there.

"Rollins. My office. Now." Cragen spoke as calmly as he could as he walked from the break room and towards his office.

"Captain, I don't know why you asked for me to come here. You told Elliot that you didn't want to help me. So I just assumed that the men who raped me would get away with it." Amanda replied.

"I guess that I don't have a choice and that I'm supposed to help you either way." He sighed.

"You don't have to help me. I don't deserve help." Amanda spoke, as she stayed in the doorway of his office.

"You made some bad choices, but in the end, you were gang-raped. You almost lost your son. So I'll help you but then I'm done with you." Cragen replied. Amanda frowned but nodded slowly. She walked over and sank down onto one of the chairs in front of his desk. She crossed her arms over her chest as she tried not to focus on the pain she was feeling everywhere on her body.

"So what do you need or want to know?" Amanda asked quietly.

"Who raped you?" He asked.

"I don't know their names," Amanda replied quietly.

"Do you know where they raped you?" He questioned, as he grew annoyed with her. It was only the second question is, and he already wanted to strangle her.

"Some warehouse on the lower east side." 

"And are you sure you aren't covering for someone?" Cragen questioned.

"All I know is that Brian Cassidy was undercover as the guy I owed. No one knew that he wasn't the guy I owed." Amanda replied. Cragen eyed her for several long moments before shaking his head.

"You are lying to me, aren't you?" He asked.

"I'm not. But if you don't believe me, drop the case. I want to go home now." Amanda spoke. She stood before turning and heading towards the door.

"What were you thinking when you let all of this stuff happen?"

"I wasn't thinking, clearly. I hate that I hurt everyone, but I tried to keep everyone away from me so they wouldn't get hurt. So that if I got killed, then no one would care. I know that I would be better off dead, and I'd like that to happen now." Amanda frowned.

"Don't say that, Rollins."

"I heard you talking to the nurse the night I was brought back to the hospital. I heard you tell her to just let me be, don't help me. It's because I'm not your Olivia."

*=*

"I'm exhausted." Logan yawned, as he walked into his Aunt and Uncle's room. Wyatt was fussy and crying at the top of his little lungs, but he only woke up his parents and his cousin.

"I know you are, but we all are too," Olivia replied, from where she stood cleaning baby vomit off her nightshirt.

"He just doesn't want to calm down. I don't know why." Elliot frowned. He was holding his son close and trying to calm him down, but Wyatt seemed like he wanted to be up all night crying nonstop.

"Maybe he's sick." Logan frowned. Olivia stopped moving and looked at her husband.

"Do you think he's sick, El? Please don't tell me that our newborn is sick." Olivia whispered as her heart started to beat out of her chest.

"No, I don't think he's sick. But we can check his temperature and see. Logan, go back to bed. Please." Elliot urged. He didn't want his nephew to say anything else that would make his already upset wife even more upset.

"I'm just telling you what might be wrong with that annoying baby." Logan huffed. He stomped from the room and Olivia quickly walked over to Elliot and took Wyatt from him. She held her son close and rested her cheek against his forehead. 

"He feels really warm, El. I think we need to take him to the hospital. Maybe he got an infection or something." Olivia whispered.

"Okay. But who will stay here with the kids?" Elliot questioned, and Olivia swallowed hard.

"You can. I have to go because I'm nursing him... Just talk to Logan while I'm gone. Figure out why he's being so mean lately."

*=*

Olivia drove to the hospital that Wyatt was born in. As she was walking in, Cragen was walking out with the report from the night of Amanda's rape.

"Liv? What are you doing here?" Cragen asked, then he heard a loud wail coming from the carrier.

"Wyatt has a fever and I don't know what's happening. So I drove him here from the safe house. What are you doing here?" Olivia questioned as she reached down and gave Wyatt his pacifier again.

"I'm getting the nurse's report from the night Amanda was raped. She said that Brian Cassidy was undercover as the guy she owed money to. I don't want to investigate this, but my boss is making me." Cragen frowned.

"She's still a victim... no matter what happens. I know you are working that case alone... but could you stay here with me for a while? Just in case something is really wrong with Wyatt." Olivia spoke.

"Of course. Go check him in."

*=*

Olivia sat beside Wyatt's crib as he was getting pumped full of fluids and antibiotics. His kidneys were inflamed and he had a small infection. They didn't know what from, but they needed to start fighting it before he got any worse. Cragen stayed beside Olivia all night since she was taking it really hard. 

"How could he get sick so quickly? Sir, it's like this is payback for me not contacting Amanda after what happened to her." Olivia whispered.

"It isn't your fault. But maybe you'd like her up here? Or you could call Fin and talk to him." Cragen replied.

"How is he doing in rehab?" Olivia sniffled, as she kept her hand resting against Wyatt's chubby little leg.

"He isn't liking it, but he's starting to get better. They were shocked that he woke up so soon and that he was getting better. But at least the rehab is also a safe place until we can find who shot up your house."

"Why can't anything be normal?" She whispered.

"Because nothing has ever been simple in your life, Liv."

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