Bullied By One Direction (One Direction Fanfiction)

Chapter 21 - Gone. One word, so much damage.

Gone. One word, so much damage.

Chapter 21

Crumbling down. I feel every little piece of me floating away into nothing. I am broken. I don't know what to think anymore.

Do I have to think?

What do I have to say?

What's left on my mind?

Will I ever feel okay again?

It doesn't feel like now.

This morning, I cut the word 'fat' in my arm. Everytime I look at it it has to remind me of how worthless I am. Ugly. Not good enough. Blood was dripping on the floor, but who cares. Maybe I did lost my spirit. Maybe I just made my mind think I was strong enough. But i'm not. It's one big lie. My whole life has been a lie. The friendships, the love from my parents, more friendships, everything.

I don't think I can keep myself this strong. Would it be better if I just died? Would Connor have a nice life with the Rachel girl? Would my parents love me again? Would all my 'friends' come and tell my dead body how sorry they are?

Everybody knows that no one truly cares unless you're pretty or dying. It's true. People like it dramatic. Which can be a good thing. Just not in most cases.

I just wish I had a best friend. One who can heal my heart when it's torn apart. One who can make me smile when nobody else can. One who I can talk to 24/7 no matter what I have to say, no matter it's silly or funny or whatever.

I just am broken again. Unwanted. Unloved. Annoying. It sucks.

I don't want to be on this planet nomore. I despise it. Blood is every unspoken word. For every scar, is a story untold. But I can't tell mine. People will see me as an attentionwhore. Thanks society.

I told you about a big part of my bully experience, Sarah Newton.

Now we are here, 1 year later.

Things have changed.

People were traded, and the hell started again. My experience isn't done yet. By far.

'It has barely started.'

At the end though?

Harry died.

And I will tell you how that had happened.

• a year back in time, recap •

A nurse comes up to me, named Leila, according to her nametag.

"Miss. Harry styles is going to die. He won't make it."

I swallow. He doesn't deserve that. Nobody deserves that. What will his family think? Is bandmates? His fans?

"How?"

She hesitates, but then she grabs my arm and she pushes me through a big grew hospital ish door, and she pulls out a chair to let me have a seat. I'm in an office, and she sits on the opposite of the desk.

It looks really formal.

"At first, we had big hopes he's going to make it. But somehow.. Things got worse when he got here. Especially after he had dinner. He actually just finished, and then we took some tests."

She comes closer and her big nervous eyes scare me. She grabs my arm and pinches it before she whispers:

"We think, he is poisened."

Wowowowow.

What. The. Hell.

How was that suppose to happen?