Letting Go of Jamie

Chapter 8: Spontaneous Events

Damn this math homework! Why the hell is x so damn important anyway!?

I was in last period, which was study hall, and I was trying to complete my pain in the ass math homework. Matt sat in the desk next to me and read, because the twerp had finished all his homework already. It was a week since our first lunch together and I had sat with him since. We usually didn’t talk much, he read and I watched the idiots surrounding us. 

At the moment, I was about ready to rip my hair out of my skull, when I remembered that Matt was a math whiz. I mean, he didn’t even use the cash register when I bought stuff from him at the store. So I decided it would be better to ask than to die slowly due to my over exerted brain exploding.

“Hey Matt, can you help me with these math problems?” I leaned over and asked. He looked up at me from his book with that adorable look I had officially dubbed “The Bookworm Look.” It was the look he had when he looked up from a book when you asked a question, his glasses were perched at the end of his nose and he blinked at you a few times before registering what you said.

“Sure. Let me see.” He said and leaned over to my desk to explain. And it was like the heavens had opened up and angles began to sing hallelujah. When Matt explained, everything became simpler and easy to understand. And I told him so, in which he replied by blushing and meekly thanking me.

He helped me finish my homework in no time, and then I started on another math homework I didn’t do and was late. I tended to procrastinate on my math homework because I knew I didn’t know the problems. I put it off until tomorrow to ask the teacher, but when it came up, I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to seem like the dumb girl. I was barely scrapping by in the class with a C-. Any lower and they would make a call to Aunt Kat, which would reach my mother, which in turn would lead to a two hour phone call on “pulling my act together.”

So I asked Matt if he could help me again.

And again the next day.

And the day after that….

On the fourth day, it became an automatic reaction for Matt to come and sit next to me to help me. We were half-way through a problem when I got the most brilliant idea I would ever have.

“Matthew, how would you like to become my personal tutor?” I asked out of the blue. He looked at me in surprise.

“Me? Why would you want me? There are way more qualified people to teach you. And what about the teachers? Why don’t you ask them?” he rambled off, the nervous, tense look about him again. God, I hated it when he did that. His shoulders would get tense and he would hunch down in his seat, like he could somehow disappear.

“Don’t give me that shit. I know that you are by far qualified. I overheard Ms.Carmikel talking to you about your AP math classes. As for why I don’t ask the teachers, I look stupid when I ask questions everyone else gets, plus, you explain them way better than the teachers can.” I told him in a forceful tone, hoping to god he would accept. My grade had gotten better, but I was still at a C.

“You’re not stupid.” He told me and I leaned back a bit. I could also feel a slight blush come to my cheeks, but I snorted and took on a bitter look.

“Tell my mother that… But that’s beside the point! If you help me with this…. I promise to teach you how to fight!” I told him excitedly, the idea coming spontaneously.

“Why in the world would I want that? I want to blend in, not try and take on bullies! Besides I have you!” He said suddenly, and immediately blushed and looked down at his lap when he realized what he said. I stared at him in shock. He really trusted me that much? I felt a fluttering in my heart and butterflies erupt in my stomach. But that wasn’t the point! I had to persuade him to help me and in turn, help him. I decided to get some of my own feelings out of the way as well then. I knew I was going pretty low when I said it, but I couldn’t help it.

“Matthew, you don’t think people see the bruises that you hide, but I do. I know they don’t come from school, because no one will touch you long as I’m around. But that’s not the point. I won’t always be around and I want you to be okay. I care for you. And I hate to see you get hurt.”

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Matt’s P.O.V

She knew…

She could see the bruises…

No one had ever noticed the bruises… Not the teachers, or students or co-workers. But this...this… beautiful delinquent could see right through me. She was like a bullet, tearing through flesh and bone right to your heart, uncovering your secrets in seconds. And she had shot me…

I was terrified. If anyone found out about Derrick, if anyone knew… I would be taken and placed back in foster care. And I was never going back there. I would take a hundred drunken beatings before returning to that prison. I turned to her, this weapon and clutched onto her arm, my head down so she could not see the ashamed tears gathering in my eyes.

“Please, don’t tell anyone. I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t tell anyone. Please.” I begged. I would tell my soul to keep this secret. I felt her hand cover my own on her arm and her breath against my ear.

“I don’t know who has done this to you, but they will pay. But you will decide their punishment. We’ll meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays for my lessons. Monday, Wednesday and Friday are fighting lessons. That okay?” I nodded my head; I only worked at the department store on the weekends, so it wasn’t a problem. Even if it was, I would quite if I had to, to make her keep this secret.

Suddenly, the bell rang and I jumped. I had completely forgotten we were in the middle of class. She took her arm away, stood up and left. I sat in my seat, staring blankly at the desktop, wondering what the hell had just happened.

It was ten minutes later that her words from earlier finally struck me.

 I care for you. And I hate to see you get hurt.