Letting Go of Jamie

Chapter 2: What is the Difference Berween Grape and Evening Dawn?

 Chapter 2: What is the difference between Grape and Evening Dawn?

 The next day I woke up tired because I couldn’t sleep that night. I kept tossing and turning and didn’t go to sleep until two in the morning. But the day must go on, and I had a check-list to check off. I got up and took a shower in the bathroom down the stairs and across the hall (once again, clinging for my life to the banister.) I dressed in my usual Band T-shirt, black jeans, leather jacket, and my trusty combat boots. People often told me I looked pretty or beautiful (and intimidating), but I didn’t see much myself. I had shoulder length, straight, dirty blonde hair, a plain (fairly acne free) white face, with pink cheeks. Though I must admit that I am quite proud of my eye color, they’re a caramel brown with flecks of gold and green, and very pretty if I do say so myself.

 So after my morning ritual, I head downstairs. On the fridge is a note from Kat.

 Went for a run this morning, be back around 12. Be safe. Love you. XOXO

 Throwing the note away, I grab an apple and a granola bar and go outside to the car. The drive to town is uneventful, with the spotting of a deer here and there. I went to the school first, and signed up for classes. If anyone thought it was weird I was signing up for school by myself, they didn’t say anything. After the boring process of endless paperwork, I finally make it to the hardware store to get stuff for my room.

 And let me tell you, they don’t play around with their paint.

 I think I spent a consecutive 20 minutes just standing there thinking, what in the heck is the difference between Grape and Evening Dawn? And that was after 30 minutes of narrowing it down to those two. I think they had about 50 different colors (and that was just purple) the two colors looked exactly the same to me, so I picked Evening Dawn ‘because it sounded cooler. I grabbed some paint brushes, scrappers, hard wood polish, etc. and checked out. Mom had given me a credit card to use in Minnesota, so I didn’t have to schmooze off of Kat.  

 So after the paint debate, I puttered on over to the department store. (I know, surprising they even have a department store right?) and pick up new sheets, a white downy comforter, etc. I was going for a purple theme, so everything ranged from dark purples (almost black) to light lilacs, with touches of white to set it off. But it was when I was checking out that I remember most, and could probably be considered a turning point in my life.

 But, as strange as it sounds, the cash register was the highlight of my day. Well, more like the person at the register.

 He was tall, taller than me by at least 3 inches, so about 6’2 and was pale as a sheet. He had a swimmers build, not buff, but not flabby. His black hair fell across his forehead, with high cheek bones and a plump mouth.

 However, it was his eyes, framed by black, thick rimmed glasses, that caught my attention. They were like frosted, shattered glass, sharp and calculating, but shy and a bit afraid. I could stare at him all day for how mouth watering he was. Which is weird for me, because I never really take interest in the male species, and when I do, it’s because I find them annoying. But this guy was different, not sure how exactly, but he had this vibe. I’m still starring at him when he says.

 “46.93 is your amount due,” I blink in surprise, and look at the register, but it’s not on.

 “Don’t you need to type in my purchases?”

 “Um, err, no, I usually do it in my head,” he replies, looking down at the ground, a slight blush in his beautiful cheeks. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone, since when do I find guys’ cheeks beautiful?

 “That’s so cool; I wish I could do that. I’m such a dummy when it comes to math. You must be really smart.” I say, still shaking those weird thoughts from my head.

 “Oh, um, thanks, it’s nothing really,” he says, still looking adorable. Adorable? Adorable! Jeezuz, I need more sleep, I’m starting to lose it…

 “Well, here you go then,” I say, handing him a fifty.

 “Three dollars and 7 cents is your change.”

 “Well, thanks Mr. Mathematics, see you around.” I say, taking my change from him and walking away, still thinking about how nice and handsome he is.

 I’m going off  the deep end…

 -----------------             ---------------        ----------------------        ------------------         --------

 That night, I lay in bed again, thinking about what tomorrow held. It was Monday tomorrow, and my first day of school. I was dreading it, but also kind of excited. Dreading it because its 8 hours of my day filled with topics and subjects that I probably won’t understand, and stupid, idiotic, hormonal teenagers that I can’t stand. But I was excited because it was the new start that I wanted, no one knew my past and I could be who ever I wanted to be.

 And maybe, just maybe, I could finally let all of my built up guilt and anger go…