Difference

February 20th

       Dear Nobody,

        I haven't seen Trent in 3 days. He doesn't show up for class or for lunch. He hasn't even let me in his thoughts to know what's wrong. But I don't really need him to tell me, I already know. I freaked out when I shouldn't have. Emily said I should go visit his room, so I did. I've been by his room eight times. His room mate always answers and tells me he's either not there or he's busy with homework. I just wish he's let me apologize for my behavior. I just wish he'd let me explain myself. 

                                                             .......I want to know more......

        "We can't ever actually die." Those words keep replaying themselves in my head. Over and over again. On a nonstop loop. Someone pressed repeat and now the button is stuck.

        To change the subject....... Em finally got asked out by a boy she actually likes. Bryant asked her to go to the next party we had. Arrows and Stones figured that even though we were all freaks, we still liked to have a life, so each month they throw a party. Chips, soda, music, and danceing. I heard that kids our age who were normal had parties with alchohol and nakedness. We're under too much supervision for that. I'm sure if we asked Micheal to get us what they call a keg, he would, and we could have a semi-normal party. Emily and Bryan promissed each other, and themselves, that as soon as school was over and they released us, they could go on a real date. In Europe, the drinking age is eighteen so they could go to a club, Micheal suggested. Or they could go to a resturaunt and drink champagne, Emily corrected. They settled with champagne. I know I would. From the way people describe drinking anice glass of bubbly champagne, it's like drinking the stars. (Comment if you get the reference) They even made a resevation. 75 days ahead. 

        I got my first sunburn of the year yesterday. One of the only ways I ever have color to my face and body.

        We start taking finals in three weeks, after that, the time will fly, they tell us. But to me, every day feels like a thousand. Just think, I've been in this same building with the same people for thirteen years. Most of the poeple my age here, came when they hit pueberty. My kindigarden class had a roster of three. Myself, a kid named Garett, and the teacher. Fun right? Not really. 

                                                Yours Truely

                                                        ~Marilyn