(takes place before her debut!)
✤Lisa's Diary POV ✤
Entry 1, September 13th, 2007
Hi~! My name is Lisa and I'll be writing down my feelings in this very journal!
My therapist says it's good to write or draw out my feelings, so that somehow, I don't feel lonely. I don't understand how that would help since it's just a journal, but it wouldn't hurt to try!
People say I'm really positive, that I can't ever stop smiling, but that's the thing. I'm scared that everyone's gonna be disappointed if I frown, if I show any form of sadness. But if I smile, people won't be worried about me, I know it's not good or something but I find it easier to smile than to be a Debbie Downer. :-D
In my class, I'm called a "class clown". Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Either way I just laugh and go along with it, although I'm not sure what it means.
There's this guy that's also the "class clown", and he just smiles at it so I suppose I should too. He likes me, though. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act, really. His name is Min Yungseok, not a very appealing name to me, personally. I like his hair, it's very fair and long, but that's about the only thing I like about him in particular. I don't like guys like that.
With that being said, I have a confession to make. I don't think I like guys, at all. It's just- whenever I see a girl rather than a guy, I get this unexplainable feeling in my chest. I don't know if it's right, is it wrong? I know this girl in my class that likes girls and other students bully her for it. They call her a "f*ggot" and such. I don't want that to be me. I don't want to be bullied like that. Tell me, what should I do? Of course, you can't help me. You're a stupid journal; you can't talk. You can't help. I don't even know who can. I just want someone who'll listen to my crazy fantasies, my nightmares, even the littlest things. Will I ever find that someone? Or are those types of people only in my head?
-Lisa <3
•••
Okay so! I'm sorry about the REALLY LATE update, I just wrote this in a few minutes but I'll definitely update this story tomorrow as well since I have a free day. Have a nice night❣️
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