Broken without you {Peter Parker x reader}

Part 12- two seconds of nothingness

-Y/n's PoV-

I was crying in the stall when someone knocked on it.

"You ok?" Said a gruff voice.
"Y-yeah." I wasn't. I genuinely don't know why she asked that.

"Obviously you aren't. I don't know why I asked that. You wanna come out?"

I unlocked the stall and walked out.

"Why are you crying?"

I looked up and saw Michelle Jones. She didn't want really talk to anyone.

"W-well I w-as just rem- reminded of s-somet-thing bad t-thats h-h-appened t-to me." I sniffled and rub my eyes. Smearing my mascara.

"What is it?"
"W-well my best friend started t-talking about my ex-"
"So this is about an ex? I should've know that's all you type of girls think about." She looked really unimpressed

"No no no, he um- d-died in a car crash-"
"Wait a minute- your ex was Elijah-"

I nodded frantically and felt tears rise up, I fought them down.

"Oh well, I'm sorry about that."
"Don't be."
"Well we're gonna be late to class."
"Yeah I know, what do you have now?"
"English."
"Really? Same."
"Well you should probably wipe your mascara off of your face."
"Yeah I should."

I took a wet wipe and rubbed all my makeup off.

"Thank you for being here." I told her.
"Anytime."

We walked to class and didn't talk the whole way there.

"Y/n and Michelle why are you so late?"
"Um..."
"Sit down!"

I turned to sit in my seat but someone was already in it.

"We're working in trios today, both of you join a group so we'll have two groups of four."

I looked around and saw peter sitting by himself writing something down. I decided to sit beside him and Michelle did too.

"Hi pete."

He didn't look up and I looked at the board.

"Okay so what I want you guys to do is discuss what you think about feminism."

I turned to Michelle.

"So..."
"Um. I don't know." She motioned to Peter who was looking away.
"Peter?"

He turned to look at me.

"You ok?"
He nodded in response and I frowned.
"You seem... mad."
'I'm not.' He signed.
"So why aren't you talking to me?"
He shrugged.

I sighed and looked away. What's up with him? Did I do anything?

I hope not.

The lesson ended and Peter basically ran out of the classroom. I caught up to him and tapped his shoulder.

"Peter seriously what's wrong?"
'Are you using me for something?'
"No.. why would you think that?"
'I heard you talking to madison.'
"Peter you were like a mile away."
'You we're talking pretty loudly.'

I frowned. Did madi always have to talk that loud? Now peter is mad at me. I literally haven't done anything. I completely forgot about Eli because I met him.

"I promise I'm not using you. It's just that Madi thinks I am because I've been spending all my time with you. So she thinks I'm doing it to get something out of you. Which is definitely not true."

He nodded and continued walking.

-After school-

-Peter's PoV-

-MENTION OF DRUGS?-

(Idrk if that needs a warning but like I'm putting it here just in case)
I walked to the usual alleyway and saw Mario.

"Hey man."
I nodded.
"So what do you want today."
I passed him a note saying 'the usual.'

He nodded and reached into his pocket.

"So when are you gonna start talking to me?"
I shrugged.
"We've known each other for a year now. And I don't think you should do this anymore. You're gonna ruin your life."
I shrugged again.
"You aren't gonna listen to anyone are you?"

I shook my head and Mario shook my hand, giving the drugs and I gave him the money.

"You should really stop this. You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you man..."

I shrugged again and started walking out of the alleyway. I heard mario sigh. Why did he care anyway.

I ran home and lay the drugs on the counter. I crushed the pills and put them into two thin straight lines with a dollar bill, which I had rolled up into a small cylinder. Then I put my finger over my left nostril and breathed it in.

My hands were shaking but the feeling was amazing. Like a part of me had been filled up. I started breathing heavily and I felt my mind shut down.

That was the feeling.

That moment when your breath starts to slow. And every time you breath, you breath out all the oxygen you have. And everything stops.

Your heart. Your lungs. And finally your brain. And everything you feel and wish and want to forget, it all just sinks.

And suddenly you give it air again, give it life again. I remember the first time it happened to me I wanted to call 911, go to the hospital and be kept alive with machines and apple juice.

But I don't look like an idiot, I didn't wanna fuck up everyones night. And then over time that's all I wanted, those two seconds of nothingness.

I felt my self smile and my eyes blurred. I let out a chuckle and did it again. All I wanted was the feeling, when all my worries were gone. I forgot everything.

All the trauma.

I picked up the pills and stuffed them in my pocket. I felt my hands reaching for a cabinet. I pulled out a bottle of vodka and opened it.

I knew what I was doing. My mind was aware. But my body, my body had other plans. It was doing whatever it wanted to.

I took a swig a felt the amazing burning sensation at the back of my throat. I craved more.

Don't do it. Stop. This isn't you.

I don't care, this is the only thing that makes me happy.

Stop. Don't.

Fuck you.

I drank more and pushed the voice out of my head. I put some music on and collapsed onto the couch.

-A/N-

EUPHORIA ANYONE?

Also I changed chapter 7 so peter DOES NOT talkkkk

I thought it was kinda pointless so peter isn't talking until a long time :)

-z