Broken without you {Peter Parker x reader}

Part 13 - keep it together

-Peter's PoV-

I woke up to my head pounding and I sat up. I caught my reflection in the tv and recoiled. I reached for my phone and saw that the time was-

7:53

I should literally be in school by now. I guess I gotta our spidey to the test today. I ran into the bathroom and took a shower. God I shouldn't drink on school nights. Thank god it's Friday today.

I put my suit on and grabbed my clothes, shoes and bag. Then I ran out the door and swung to school.

One thing I realised is that it's basically impossible to get to school in this suit. I wouldn't be able to change anywhere because the streets are packed.

I guess I'll just change on a building.

I swung onto a building a few blocks away from school, I had about 1 minute to get to school so I threw my clothes on and jumped down the fire escape.

Then I ran into school. The first person that caught my eye was y/n. I stared at her. She was talking to Madison and completely ignored me.

I walked past them.

"Peter? Hey!"

I turned around and waved at them.

"So there's a party tonight, you wanna come?" Madison asked.
'Parties aren't really my thing.' Boy was that a lie.
"He says parties aren't his thing." Y/n translated.
"It'll be fun, y/n will come with you." She smiled and winked.
"You don't have to if you don't want to. Madi don't pressure him."
'I'll go I guess.'
"That's good then, Do you wanna meet at your place?"
I nodded.

"I need to get to class. Um bye." Madison walked away awkwardly.

We both watched her go and y/n turned to me and smiled.

"You wanna get going?"

I nodded, we started walking slowly, she made space between us because she knew I didn't like being touched, especially stroking or soft touches.

"Can I ask you something?"
I nodded again.
"Will you ever, y'know, talk again?"
I shrugged.
'People have heard me talk, but they don't know what my voice sounds like, even I don't know what it sounds like. I physically can't do it.' He signed.
"Have you tried?"
'No.'

She didn't ask anymore questions. Y/n knew that about me as well. I didn't like answering questions. She knew me well. If I could I would talk to her. I wish I could.

"So basically like a year ago you would. So people have obviously heard you. But you're in shock. And you physically can't."
That annoyed me. I thought she knew I didn't like answering questions, I take back what I just thought.

I shook my head.

"Your voice wouldn't have changed a lot then. I mean it's only a year. It would've gotten slightly deeper."
'Why do you even wanna know how my voice sounds.'
"I don't know peter. Just forget about it."

I looked at her and saw she was uncomfortable, playing with her fingers and looking and down.

"So can you laugh?"
I nodded.
"But like with your voice?."
I thought about it for abit.
'I don't know. Nothings really made me want laugh like that, and I've never tried.'
"Oh right."

We got to homeroom and y/n sat next to Aria instead of me. She didn't look back at me at all. Did I make her mad? Yeah I probably did. Oh for gods sake Peter why don't you just act normal for once in your life.

I realised that my hands were shaking more than usual. Was it the drugs? Did they do something to me?

"Peter are you okay?" The teacher asked.
I nodded quickly and saw y/n staring at me in concern.
"Are you sure?" She mouthed.
I nodded again and looked away.

Okay this is why she would be mad at me. Because I am so horrible to her. I played with my fingers and looked around the room, counting 5 things I could see, 4 things I could hear, 3 things I could touch and 2 things I could smell.

(This actually helps me with panic attacks so I suggest you do it, it really calms you down because you become aware of your surroundings.)

This could not be happening here. Not in class, with everyone watching, Y/n would think I'm a weirdo.

Just keep it together Peter.

I took a piece of paper and wrote 'can I go to the bathroom.' and gave it to the teacher.
She smiled and nodded and I ran out of the classroom. I snuck out of the school and sat on the steps, feeling the air hit my face.

"Hey! What are you doing?" A teacher called out to me from a classroom window.
I turned around and the teacher realised it was me and mouthed 'sorry.' and closed the window.

I turned around again and my head started hurting a lot, did the drugs do something to me?

I walked back into the school and went into the bathroom to splash my face with water. I looked into the mirror and saw my eyes were bloodshot.

I didn't remember much from yesterday, except the start,

I must have took too much.

I put my hands into my pocket and pulled out the bag. I realised that there was only 1/2 of a pill left. I started with 3 and they were strong, like Captain America strong. I usually did 1/2 or one pill.

Holy shit. Why can't I remember anything? I flushed the pills down the toilet and walked back to class.

I sat down and felt my hands shaking even more. I put them under the table and tried to control my breathing. It was helping until I realised y/n was staring at me.

'Peter are you okay?' She signed, making sure no one saw.
'Yes.'
'Your hands are shaking.'
'I'm cold.'
'Seriously, why can't you just tell me?'
'Because nothing is wrong.'

She rolled her eyes and looked back to the front. Now I just need to figure out a way to stop the shaking.

-A/n-

This is such a shit chapter ew

I'm so sorry lol

Okay the next chapter will be out soon :))))

Byeeee

-z <3

(Wc-1056)