Frozen Flames - Troyler AU [Discontinued]

Chapter 9 - Talk

Tyler’s POV

I watched as my friends piled into the room, still hugging Troye tightly to my chest. “Hey” I mimed to Zoe who replied with a mimed “Hi” and a questioning look. I gave her the look that said ‘I’ll tell you later’ and she nodded. Her gaze stayed at us for a few seconds before she looked at a cup on the bed. I knew she did, I knew Troye had discarded it next to him. She gasped and said “Tyler, are those yours?” as I didn’t answer Zoe launched forward to grab the cup as Troye untangled himself from me to do the same thing. Zoe got the cup and Troye got a grip of her hand. She gasped a second time as she saw what they were. I nudged Troye’s arm and whispered “Are you gonna tell her?” He swallowed and nodded. “Zoe, they’re mine” he said in a leveled voice. Zoe turned white but turned to everyone, and ordered them out. I wrapped my arms around Troye’s waist and pulled him up into me and whispered “I’m so proud of you for telling her” a warm smile on my lips. Zoe had ushered everyone out and came to sit down on the bed.

“Tyler, does he know, except that you cut?” she asked me, worry shining in her eyes. “Um, no…” I said and my voice awkwardly trailed off at the end. She sighed but nodded and then said “Troye, do you mind if I ask some questions?” I felt him freeze and squeezed his waist one time, trying to be comforting. He slowly nodded and I gave Zoe a stern look that basically said ‘don’t go to deep’ and she nodded my way. Troye stretched and his shirt rode up a bit, my cold fingers making contact with his warm skin and he shuddered but didn’t get my fingers off him. I started to draw a small pattern into the exposed skin and he relaxed into my touch. Zoe looked deep in thought, her lip trapped between her teeth.

“Troye, are you depressed?” she asked and he hung his head down, a croaked “yes” escaping his lips. “Clinical?” I mumbled into his back. “Yes” he answered. Oh, so we’re in the same category I thought to myself. “Is- is there anything more Troye?” Zoe asks cautiously and he nods. “Anxiety and Panic Attacks” he says and I squeeze his waist tighter, continuing my pattern into the exposed skin on his hip. “You know, it’s okay Troye. I have Panic Attacks and Anxiety too” Zoe says and I feel Troye relax even further into me. “And I have clinical depression just like you” I said quietly. I feel Troye turn around in my grip. “But, Tyler, wait- is that why you cut?” he asks, confused, voice unsteady. “Yes” I say bluntly and he hugs me tightly. “Tyler, this might sound weird, but if you’re comfortable with it, show him” she says in a warm and loving voice and I hesitate but soon enough I untangle my arms from Troye, standing up and pulling my sweatshirt off. I felt Troyes gaze on me and he gasped as I was now revealing all the thin white lines from old cuts.

“Tyler?” Troye says, his voice just above a whisper. He slowly stood up and placed a soft warm hand on my bicep. I continued to stare down at the floor. “Tyler, why?” he asks cautiously and I sigh, looking up to meet his eyes. “You know that I’m depressed” I say slowly and he nods. “And this is my escape, my temporary way to feel better” I continue and look down to the floor again, feeling embarrassed or even ashamed about how I’ve handled my depression and thought’s trying to drown me. Troye traced one of the thin white lines that littered my body and soon he put his index finger under my chin and pushed up, forcing me to look him in the eyes. When I did he sighed but a small sad smile made it’s way to his lips. “Let’s be depressed together?” he whispered after taking a few small steps to come even closer to me. I nodded, not trusting my voice to keep from cracking.

Troye opened his arms and I stumbled into them, feeling a tear slip down my cheek. I reached up and quickly dried it away, not wanting to seem weak. “It’s okay to cry, Ty” he said and hearing that made me burst to tears. I silently cried, burying my face into his neck, not really thinking about if I would ruin his shirt. Soon I was only sniffling and Troye carefully and slowly began to take his arms off of me. A frown made it’s way to my lips at the loss of contact. I looked down to the floor but hurried towards the bed where I had thrown my sweater. I quickly pulled it on and pulled the sleeves down past my knuckles. “Don’t be ashamed” Troye said. He walked towards me and stopped about a feet away. I walked backwards and soon my legs hit the edge of the bed. I quickly sat down as Troye had taken one step forward for every step I had taken backwards. He slowly sat down next to me on the bed and turned to face me.