Sad poems

Mind games

In my mind,
There are wars.

In my mind,
there are dark places,
Not even the most evil villains liked maleficent would go.

In my mind,
There are thoughts that kill.
There are happy places too, but those parts are small.

Each part of my mind is an emotion.
I feel like I'm the only one, like I'm different from the others,
Little do I know there are others.
People like me,
The same monsters and demons live in their head.

It's true,
Parents say they don't exist but they do.
There are monsters and demons,
Knights and angels,
And they're constantly fighting.
But it's all in your head.
It's not only the thoughts killing me,
It's the emotions.

Fear, anger, depression, sadness, anxiety, love, happiness, and numbness.
Fear, a circus with creepy clowns constantly chasing children
Anger, a fire inside waiting to erupt like a volcano.
Bubbling inside me,
Waiting for that one sound
"Snap."

depression, an ocean drowning you repeatedly,
Your screaming out for help, but no one can hear you.
You're holding onto something that's in the dark that you can't see,
but you're still willing to hold on.
It feels like walking on a tightrope and your about to fall.

Sadness, a drop of water. A tear.
It's a light drizzle compared to the ocean that swallows you whole.

Anxiety, an amusement park.
Roller Coasters going up and down,
exactly like your chest.
The rush of adrenaline you get right before you fall
It sticks with you all day and all night, and it feels like there's no light.
Kids hands, sticky from eating cotton candy,
Mimicking the feeling of sweat on your face, hair sticking to it.

It starts with the thoughts:
"You are alone"
"Everyone hates you"
"Why are you even here?"
They never stop.
The voices in my head never stop.

Love, wearing rose colored glasses,
seeing nothing but the good and light,
in the person you'd do anything for.
Happiness, excitement and laughter,
Kid's eyes lighting up when they get candy.
It's when you're feeling the best,
And being in the best place you've ever been in a long time.

Numbness, an icy cold feeling, like icicles and frostbites.
The cold biting at you, but not feeling it.
Feeling Numb is the best "emotion",
you can't feel anymore and the thoughts stop.
All your feelings go away, it's like a switch that goes off.
The menacing ideas go silent,
The demons in control of you,
happy for breaking the only thing that made you human.

When I become numb,
I look in the mirror and wonder who I am.
It's hard to find myself sometimes,
when there's so many places in my mind.
My true self hiding somewhere I can't find.

But it's all in my head...
So I keep it to myself,
Pretend to smile,
Bottle up and push away the feelings,
And say "I'm fine",
I'll be fine, right?