Hate You ; Ethan Dolan [#2]

11.- Ethan Is Dead

Chapter 11: Ethan Is Dead.

Emma

A week after my panic attack, I decided I didn't want to live alone. Even though I had Adelia, sleeping alone was horrible. It was too late to find a human roommate, and I had no spare room, so I decided to get the next best thing.

"This puppy is a golden retriever." The man at the shelter explained as he grabbed a puppy from one of the cages. "He was found inside a box, he was the only survivor of his brothers."

The puppy looked at me, his face seemed sad. But as soon wagging his tail all excited. I knew from the moment I saw him that he was for me. We had an instant connection, and I had to get him.

"I'll adopt him." I said. "Anything I have to buy?"

"Food, something to entertain, a bed, leashes..." he named a list of things.

"Thank you." I thanked him, picking up the little pupper.

The puppy kept licking my face, making noises to show that he was really happy. He was, for me, the cutest thing ever. I wasn't going to feel lonely anymore.

"Name?" The man asked.

"Kiwi."

....

There I was, walking with my new puppy down the street. He sniffed everything and everyone, barked at other dogs, peed in street corners.... Anything that a dog would normally do.

Surprisingly, he eventually jumped on someone. I ran towards the man, apologizing for whatever Kiwi tried to do. He reacted by laughing, whose laugh seemed familiar.

"Hi there, Emma." He said.

It was Jus. I knew because of his dyed blonde hair and piercings. He smiled at me, happy to see Kiwi and I. He picked my dog up as he chewed on his jacket.

"Oh, hey Jus." I greeted him. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, I was going to the park. You wanna tag along?" He asked.

He handed me over Kiwi, who was very hyperactive. He was a puppy, so I couldn't blame him. I knew I had to drain him so he would sleep happily.

"Sure. I need this fella to drain all of his energy." I said.

After a long 30 minute walk, we eventually arrived at a dog park. There tons of dogs there, especially puppies for Kiwi to play with. I don't know why, but he didn't seem to like to be around other dogs. He seemed too anxious.

Like his owner.

"Oh, Kiwi." I picked him up. "He's so scared. Sorry Jus, I think I'll just head back."

"Oh, I'll accompany you!" He exclaimed. "I think we walked enough, don't you think?"

I shrugged. "I guess."

Jus didn't stop trying to talk to me. I understood a conversation about whatever topic, but he kept asking me questions about my likes/dislikes, my personal life, my problems... It seemed like he was trying to do more than get to know me, he wanted me to keep looking at him and smiling and...

"Um... Emma." he stopped me in the middle of the street. "Are you doing anything next friday?"

I shrugged. "I... Don't think so? Why?"

"Here's the thing, my family is here in LA and we-"

I didn't listen to a word he said, I was too busy focusing on the café behind him. There were wide windows, and trough them you could see people having lunch. There were two old ladies, a preppy girl with her friends, a gothic guy ordening food and.... someone who I thought I recognize.

I squinted my eyes, trying to see better. And then, when the man looked up from his drink and set it down, my heart sank. Cold blood ran through my veins, my face was as pale as white paint. My heart kept pounding out of my chest and I felt like I was going to faint.

The guy looked like Ethan.

"Emma? Are you-"

"Oh my god! I'm sorry I've got to go!"

I picked up Kiwi and sprinted as fast as I could, leaving Jus behind. I wasn't used to running, so my lungs became tighter the minute, and my legs begged for a break as they burnt.

I was going insane. I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe I still wasn't over Ethan. Infact, it had gotten much worse, to the point where I thought I could see him. I thought I could see the dead.

I thought I had finally forgotten him.

I eventually got back to my home, panting and my lungs begging for air. I somehow managed to get to my apartment door, and I threw myself inside.

I laid on the ground, Kiwi by my side. My legs were desperate for a break, my heart pounding against my chest trying to jump out, my lungs aching as I breathed in and out.

I couldn't cry, I was too worried about the fact that I was now starting to see someone who was dead. Someone I hated so much.

Kiwi started licking my face, begging me to get up. I eventually did, just to throw myself against the couch. I felt again just hopeless.

"Oh Kiwi..." I sighed as he climbed the couch to sit beside me.

He barked.

"I thought it was finally over. I'm happy, I'm over Ethan, I don't blame myself anymore... Why am I seeing him now? What am I doing wrong?"

He curled up beside me, resting his head against my thigh. I just stared at the ceiling, patting his head as he fell asleep.

"Maybe I'm just so angry at him... I'm angry at the fact I can't forget someone who hurt me, I can't forgive myself for letting someone in my heart and letting them manipulate me. I think... I think I have a trauma? I guess. It would explain everything."

Kiwi fell asleep, I could hear his little snores and small breaths against my skin. I got up, and decided to pace around the living room.

I glanced over at the rose picture, and I picked it up. This time, not to break it, but to hold it between my hands and examine it. Was I truly happy in that moment? Did I truly love Ethan.

"I couldn't have been in love. I can't fall in love with someone in a month. I... What am I doing talking to myself?"

I set the picture down.

"Ethan is dead. And he'll always be." I said.

Hi guys! Happy Tuesday!

I'm writing a new fanfic about Grayson called 'Anonymous'. It's about an anonymous influencer online, who meets Grayson both physically and online. He ends up falling for the influencer, but doesn't realize he does know her.

If you want to read it, it's on my page ❤

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