Sad Song (SFW)

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Zane liked singing. Nana knew this, of course. He had a nice deep voice, and she had always been curious if he had ever tried to take lessons, mainly because she believed that he should.

Zane often hummed wherever they were, most of the time not realizing it. When they were in the car, when they were walking outside.. he'd even hum the jingle in the grocery store if it had gotten stuck in his head after they left. But she never made care to address it, just in case he would never do it again. She wanted him to be comfortable around her, and wanted him to sing as much as he wanted. But she knew not to push him.

She was the same way, and knew well more than anyone.

But, of course, it got to a point where she couldn't bear. It was in her nature to be nosy and curious, and he was her boyfriend. It wouldn't hurt to ask.

She traced with a finger up and down his right bicep, procrastinating and thinking of what she should say. He made no detectable notice, eyes glued to the television. It was one of their movie nights, but Nana admittedly hadn't been very interested in the movie from the start. She was laying atop of him, majority of her torso resting on his lap as he sat upright to watch the television.

Undoubtedly in response, he absentmindedly traced a hand down the center of her back, most likely trying to let her fall asleep. And, being the meif'wa that she was, for the most part, it was seeming to work. He figured if she was bored watching the movie, she might as well rest. He sure didn't mind.

"Hey, Zane.." she finally said, before she did fall asleep. He stirred a little, letting his hand rest at her side.

"Mhm?"

"Do you.. do you like singing?" She asked, cringing a little as she awaited his response. She figured asking it that way would be better than asking him straight out why he doesn't sing.

"Singing? Uh.." he trailed off. "Sure."

"Sure?" She echoed, a little confused. "What does that mean?" She asked, still letting her nail trace abstract shapes into the skin of his arm. He made a noise deep in his throat.

"I don't sing much anymore, but sure. I like it." He offered, sounding a little bit guilty. It was almost as if he were attempting to lie, but it was not if he were committing enough for it to be one. She huffed, which caused him to chuckle a little.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked, humor in his voice. She didn't respond right away.

"Nothin.'" She managed. He sighed, and left it at that. She wasn't giving him anything to go off and he wasn't giving her anything to go off of. So they would leave the topic alone.

"What music do you like?"

"That again?"

"I'm just curious.." Nana mumbled. "Can you tuck my hair behind my ear, please?" She asked, leaning backward to where Zane had been standing, watching her.

"Of course," He said, sucking in his cheek. Nana was baking, and having nothing else better to do meanwhile, Zane was currently her assistant. Which of course he didn't mind being in the slightest. He sighed. "Why do you wanna know?"

"I want to listen to what you like." She said innocently, giving him a little shrug over her shoulder. He sighed, giving her a little eye roll out of her line of sight. He knew she was referring to him singing. For whatever reason, it seemed to be a touchy subject. For both of them. Nana really, really wanted to know, and Zane wanted to act like he couldn't care less.

But he didn't

"Rock. I guess," He muttered. "I don't really listen to music a lot anymore." He added, trying to seem indifferent. Nana narrowed her eyes, beginning to whisk the ingredients together a tad more aggressively. She didn't respond right away, but Zane had a feeling she was getting a little mad. "Listen, if this is about me singing, I don't really do it anymore, okay? I just.. I don't want to."

"Okay," She said right away, which left him very very unsatisfied. Just an "okay"? There was more to it. There was more to it. But he thought that was true. He hasn't sung anything in awhile, and he.. He at least thought he felt alright doing so.

"Once you don't have frosting or batter on your hands, you can go through my music if you'd like.. I don't remember when I last updated any of my playlists.." he muttered, giving in to her. She giggled. She got to him and she knew it.

Zane was making dinner.

She had asked nicely and sweetly and very very innocently again if she could look through his phone while he was downstairs, and he obliged. He said with a smile that he had absolutely nothing to hide from her. Aside from a few embarrassing Aarmau photos and pictures taken of him without his knowing, she could say the same.

Nana went through all of his Spotify playlists. As he had said, they hadn't been touched for years. But these were still songs Zane had liked at some point, and for that she would give them the honor of listening to most of them at least once.

So she did, and honestly their music taste definitely seemed to differ, at least a little. But the songs weren't bad. They were catchy.

Eventually, though, Nana's curiosity got the better of her. She remembered when she were younger once she had tried to sing and recorded her voice on an app. She knew she couldn't sing, but she knew that a lot of others who once thought they could definitely tried. It was certainly an embarrassing memory for her, and could practically remember herself cringing at her own voice once she listened to the recording. It was probably a factor to the whole "low self esteem" thing—maybe she could sing and she didn't know it—but she was passed that now and that wasn't what she was trying to get at.

She was wondering if Zane had done the same, like many other people? She closed the Spotify app, and moved to the voice recording one. She knew what she was doing was wrong, he hadn't necessarily given her permission to go through his other applications. And quoting him, saying that he said "nothing to hide" was also wrong—but Nana had earbuds in. He wouldn't know.

Nana didn't know what she was expecting, a million recordings or none, but she did get two. And they surprised her. The titles, that is.

One was her name, which was real recent, and the other was titled "Something I Can't Have" which had been a few months ago. Needless to say, both made her nervous. Maybe this was too far.

But she was nosy. She listened to the older one first.

His voice was as lovely as she thought it was. And that was a relief. It gave her some solace and contentment just to hear it, as she had been waiting for it ever since they had first started dating. And she was sorry that he didn't appreciate it as much as he should. It was wonderful.

The song itself was sad. It made her heart hurt. The words were carefully written. This one wasn't named after her, but she could feel his longing as he sang. It was as if these words were his. It made her heart tighten as he sang sharp notes, frustrated that he was feeling this way. Frustrated that she wasn't there to help him through this.

He was lonely, and he wanted to be with someone he couldn't have. They were out of his league. They were off limits. And that made him feel horrible. Nana could feel all of this from the song.

Once it ended—abruptly she might add—it left her feeling empty. And she was ashamed she would have to hide that she listened to such a vulnerable recording of him. He was innocently making their dinner downstairs, and she just invaded his privacy.

But then was the song named Nana. It was named after her for Irene's sake, how could she not listen? She couldn't help herself.

With a guilty sigh, she pressed play.

ahhh I just lost whatever I was going to write haha I'm going to leave this at a cliffhanger sorry oops guess I'm not ready to regularly write yet as I expected

thanks for reading anyway 💖💖

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