THOUGHTS OF MINE

Creatures From The Mud

Oh wow, thank you.
Thanks for having me, you lovely people.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's a great honor to be here amongst you.
It is indeed a privilege to recount a short story...

During the day, creatures from the mud offer praise and compliments, calling you a gentleman, a good man, and a great person.
However, as the day turns to night, the positive words and attitudes towards you disappear and you are instead criticized and called names such as a coward, a lazy person, and a disrespectful human being.

You sweet lovely people, I know that many of you didn't understand a word, yeah I know.
There are some people here who are just sitting and pretending that they do understand what I'm talking about.
But unfortunately, they are not.

Am I right neckties people who are sitting in the front?
Yeah, what's up?
Okay, fine, I'm gonna prove it to you.
Sir, yeah you with the white shoes, can you please come over?
You look good today, you must be a scientist or something, right?
That is correct, sir.

Okay, can you clarify for us what I said and what you understood from my statements?
Take your time.
Man, that's easy peasy...
We can't hear you, raise your voice, please.
Oh, sure.
You said that happiness can be bought with money and that mud is so expensive these days.

How genius.
Bravo.
Lovely people, did you hear me say that?
Exactly, no one did.
Yeah, boo him, he deserves the boos...

You know what?
You can carry on, Mr. Scientist.
I'm done talking.
I'm gonna go before I do something terrible and regret it for my whole entire life.
And you probably should go too, my friend, before my audience starts heckling you.

Anyway, thanks for having me again, ladies and gentlemen.
I love you all so much.
See you soon.
I'm out.

-A