All I Had Of You

Chapter 1

Sandor had come to Sansa during the Battle of Blackwater Bay, and she had given him more than a song. She shared all of herself with the man had come to realize she loved. Despite her declarations of adoration to him, Sandor was in such despair and had for so long locked himself behind the mask of his burns that he did not believe she truly loved him. Neither did he believe her maiden gift had been given to him willingly. He saw the fear in her eyes. He did not realize it was a fear that had been placed there by the fiery night, and by the real monsters who had plagued her existence in Kings Landing. Sansa, could not make Sandor believe that she had no fear of him. When he asked Sansa to leave with him she had hesitated. She understood what would happen to both of them if they were caught. Sandor mistook her fear of those who held her hostage and who would surely kill them both if discovered, for fear of him. If only he had given her a few moments more, she would have agreed to his offer of rescue. Tragically misinterpreting her actions, he did not give her that time. Wracked with guilt and shame he had fled, leaving her there with the memory of their love.

It was Shae who realized that Sansa was pregnant a few months later. She noticed that her young mistress had not bled for two cycles of the moon, that she was wracked with boughts of unexplained sickness, and that her body was becoming softer and more supple as the servant dressed Sansa each morning. Shae had expected her young charge to be frightened or ashamed upon hearing the news. She was certain her mistress had been assaulted and had hidden the attack. Instead Sansa was overjoyed and excited.

"A child?" Sansa had questioned upon hearing Shae determine her condition. Her trembling hands instinctively and protectively covered her stomach, just beginning to round with the life she carried inside. Her eyes then filled with dreamy tears. "His child." She whipered to herself as her mind lost itself once again to thoughts of Sandor. She had dreamt of him since that night, and her heart ached for him now. She wanted him there with her more than she could bare. At least she had a part of him. It was all she of him.

Shae heard her timid acknowledgment. " Whose Child?" she demanded.

At first Sansa was unwilling to convey the identity of her baby's father, even to her friend and confidant. Shae understood there was much Sansa was not telling her.

"This news is not unexpected, nor unwelcome then?" Shae asked quietly.

Sansa lifted her eyes slowly from the wonderous new focus of her unborn child. "No. It is neither." She answered smiling shyly.

"Who's baby are you carrying?" Shae demanded of Sansa once more.

Sansa closed her eyes dreaming of the face she she had memorized. The one in which she found no ugliness. The one that had become her strength. When she looked up to face Shae there was pride in her voice. "Sandor Clegane."

Shae's eyes widened as she imagined what must have transpired for the young daughter of Winterfell to have conceived the child of such a man. "He took advantage of you?" Her tone was more a confirmation than a question.

Sansa stuck out her chin indignantly. "No! He did not!" She protested. "I allowed him my maiden prize willingly. More than willingly. I wanted every moment of what we shared. I love him." Sansa reported.

Shae's confusion turned to terror. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" She pleaded. Her brow creased with worry.

"I fell in love." Sansa murmured still living in her happy dream.

"Do you think the Lannisters are just going to happily congratulate you and send you back to Winterfell to have your bast..." The chambermaid caught herself and remembered her place. "To birth your child?" Sansa blinked back the tears that were beginning to fill her eyes at the words she knew were true.

"They'll let you live long enough to give birth to your child, and then they'll kill it front of you just for the pleasure of watching your misery." Shae ranted. "Then they will execute you!" Shae left Sansa's side only to pace nervously around the room.

In an instant Sansa's joy turned to terror. Her grasp tightened around her belly. Her breath came in shallow spurts as the tears slipped unbidden from her eyes. Shae was right. She knew it. "Help me, Shae." She pleaded. "Don't let them hurt my baby."

Shae raced to her mistress, and embraced her. "Forget what I just said. I'd kill them all or die myself before I'll let that happen." She comforted. "I'll figure something out, and I'll get you both out of here." She promised laying her hand warmly on Sansa's abdomen. "Soon. Very very soon!"