All I Had Of You

Chapter 4

As her time grew nearer, Sansa grew more and more uncomfortable. Each time she lay down at night her baby would begin kicking her steadily and hard. She was happy to know that her child had apparently inherited it's father's strength. She was, however, exhausted and knew she needed to rest for the ordeal she would soon face.  Luckily, the baby did allow her to nap in the afternoons and Sansa took full advantage of that luxury.  This day, her aching body begged her for just one more pillow upon which to nestle her rounded abdomen. Shae had walked to the village as she had done several times during their stay. Always returning with food she had purchased, or material make a larger dress for Sansa. Sansa was certain her caregiver would not mind if she borrowed one of her pillows during the nap she so desperately needed.

Sansa made her way heavily into Shae's small bedchamber, and softly lifted a pillow from the bed.  In one fluid movement something fluttered from beneath the cushion and landed on the bedspread.  It was a folded piece of parchment. Wishing to return Shae's possession, Sansa lifted it carefully and reached to lay it atop of the remaining pillow. It was then that she noticed the broken red wax that had sealed the letter. It was the seal of the Lannister lion.

Sansa's heart lept into her throat, and she could not find breath in her lungs.  With trembling fingers the girl unfolded the parchment and read the words scripted inside.

"I am happy to impart to you that our deception has taken root. Our plans should come to full fruition by the time the child is born."

The blood drained from Sansa's head, and the color from her face. She fought herself not to faint. Her mind struggled to grasp the reality of what she had discovered.  Was this how Shae had managed to escape Kings Landing with her? Was it why she had been been able to lodge her in such a comfortable cottage? What were the plans of which the writer spoke? In how much danger was she? What had already planned for her unborn child?

As her mind reeled Shae's voice broke her shock. "Sansa?" The woman questioned from behind her.

Sansa spun on her heels, breathless. She stared at Shae with disbelief. Holding up the parchment now crushed in a vice grip, she could barely whisper. "What...what is this?" She begged.

"You weren't meant to find that." Shae spoke coolly, her eyes narrowing.

"Obviously not!" Sansa sputtered.

Shae stepped toward her mistress. Sansa backed away from her cautiously. Searching for something she could use to protect herself.

Shae could see Sansa's shock, and tried to reach out to support her. The girl again dodged her attempt to draw closer. "Calm yourself, please." Shae pleaded. "Your distress, it could bring the baby early. Please."

"I suppose that would ruin your plans." Sansa yelled.

"Please let me explain." Shae begged. Her face pained. "It is not what you think."

"What else could it possibly be?" Sansa questioned. "Which Lannister is this from? Cersei? Tywin? Joffrey?" Sansa demanded.

"Sansa..." Shae's voice sounded almost hurt.

"Who?" Sansa screamed. The intensity of her tone startled even her.

Shae drew a breath, not wanting to tell what she knew.

"Tell Me!" Sansa screamed again.

Worried that Sansa might send herself into premature labor, Shae submitted and answered, "Lord Tyrion!" She admitted.

Sansa's confusion overtook her understanding and she shook her head to try to clear it. "Lord Tyrion?" She continued. "What would Lord Tyrion want with me, or my baby?" Sansa cradled her heavy belly protectively.
Her thoughts came at her disjointedly.  He was a Lannister. His family's interests would be his as well. A Stark heir raised in their midst could be priceless to them, even better than holding her as a hostage in Kings Landing.  A key to the North. Her baby was also a Clegane. They were Lannister bannermen.  With Sandor nowhere to be found, would they hand the child over to his monsterous brother to raise and torture, creating another indentured weapon for their arsenal? Her head spun with a myriad of dark possibilities, each more disgusting than the last.

"Sansa. Please let me explain." Shae pleaded.  Sansa nodded, barely hearing.

"I told Tyrion that you were expecting. I begged him to help you."  Shae admitted.

"You told him?" Sansa heart broke with betrayal.  "I didn't realize you and he were so close." She mocked.

Shae averted her eyes from Sansa's accusatory stare.  "We are." She whispered. "We've been lovers for over a year." Shae had never told anyone about her relationship with Tyrion.

"So naturally you would do his bidding." Sansa bit back, not yet ready to trust Shae's words again.

"Yes. I would." Shae nodded. "But he only wishes to see you protected."

"The letter talks of deception." Sansa continued to accuse raising the parchment she still clutched in her palm. "Deception upon whom? Me?"

"Oh no." Shae shook her head vehemently . "Deception against the rest of the Lannisters." She continued. "Remember, there is no love lost between Tyrion and his family.  He was disgusted by their treatment of you. Helping you is his way of seeing whatever plans they had in keeping you a hostage ruined. He needed to keep his assistance secret. His family would consider it treason."

Unable to stand any longer,  Sansa sank to the bed as Shae continued to explain herself. "Please, let me show you something." She went to the chest of drawers across the room and retrieved another folded parchment.  Returning to the bed, she sat next to Sansa and handed it to her. The writing inside matched the letter she had found. She withdrew warily from Shae as she read what was written on the page.

"I am relieved you and Lady Sansa made it to the cottage without incident.  Give her anything she needs. Money is object. When she and her child are ready, see her safely to Winterfell. Stay with her there until I send for you. I can only hope our actions will in some small way repair even a bit of the damage my family has done to her."

The rest of the letter contained declarations of Tyrion's love for Shae and described how much he missed her. Sansa blushed to read it.

"You see." Shae softened. "The way you feel about Sandor Clegane is the same I way I feel about Tyrion Lannister." Tears came to Shae's eyes. Sansa had never seen her cry before. "I would do anything for him. I would also do anything for you...and for your child. You are the sister and the daughter I never had. I love you Sweet Child." Shae grasped her hand, entreating Sansa to believe her.

Sansa nodded her head weakly, her own tears beginning to flow. "Lord Tyrion has always been kind to me." She thought of how he had come to her rescue when Joffrey had her beaten in the throne room. When even Sandor had been powerless to stop them. Both he and Sansa knowing any action by him to stop the young tyrant would have surely cost his life. She thought of how Tyrion had interrupted her and Sandor in the passageway when he had first wanted a song from her. Tyrion had thought he was protecting Sansa. He did not understand the feelings passing between the guard and the young woman. She also remembered Tyrion's concern when Sandor had carried her back into the Red Keep after rescuing her the day of the riots, when Sansa could not take her eyes from her tall strong protector.

Sansa realized that Shae too had always protected her. "I believe you." She finally calmed. "Forgive me for thinking the worst. I suppose I'm a bit on edge right now."

Shae gave her a loving nod. "There is nothing to forgive. You are a mother wolf protecting her cub. I would expect nothing less."

Sansa smiled, and took Shae's hands in hers. "I'm glad Lord Tyrion told you to stay at a Winterfell. Please say you will." She begged.

"Of course. I will stay and serve you and your child for as long as you will have me." Shae agreed.

"I vow that you shall always have a place by my hearth and meat and mead at my table, and pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you into dishonor. I swear it by the old gods and the new."  Sansa promised to her friend.

The two relieved women embraced happily grateful for each other.