All I Had Of You

Chapter 5

Finally, late in the evening on a pleasantly warm but exhaustingly uncomfortable day spent resting in the garden, Sansa began to feel the first sharp pains of childbirth. Shae was at her side in an instant seeing her double over in agony. Sansa was excited that her child would soon be born, but terrified at what she would endure over the coming hours.

Throughtout the long night, as Sansa's contractions grew worse, Shae helped her as best she could. The servant had drawn the young mother a warm bath. She rubbed her tense shoulders, and supported her as she paced between her spasms. Early the next morning, with her water having broken a short time before and her labor intensifying, Shae ordered Sansa into her birthing bed.

Sansa desperately clutched her tightening abdomen as another long hard wave of pain wracked her body. "Is it supposed to hurt this much?" She begged Shae through her gasps.

Shae wiped Sansa's sweat soaked brow with a cool wet cloth, and then took the girl's hands in her own. She looked pitifully into the younger woman's frantic eyes. "Yes, my dear. It is." She confirmed. "And I'm afraid the worst is yet to come."

Sansa gave a dejected long sigh, and began to cry. She was nearly ready to give in. "I don't think I can do this." She sobbed.

Shae's let lose of Sansa's clutching hands and moved to hold her face. "Yes, you can. You will get through this. You will get your baby through this." Shae needed to help her find the strength in herself she did not know she had. "You are a Stark. Your child is a Stark. Whatever you need to endure, you are strong enough to bare. You will bring your child safely into this world. You owe it to your family and your ancestors." Shae then realized the words that would bring Sansa's spirit back to her. "You will do it for him...for the child's father. He is a warrior. You owe him a strong, wellborn child."

At that Sansa breathed in deeply, trying to draw in the very determination she needed. She wanted the pain to stop. She wanted her child to be born at Winterfell. She wanted her mother to be there. More than anything else Sansa wanted Sandor to be with her. She longed for him to share the birth of their child, to see their baby come into the world. She needed him to help her be strong now.

"I wanted him here with me." Sansa confided to Shae, wincing with pain as she began to feel the need to push.

Shae's sympathetic face turned serious. "Then focus on him. Whatever it is that you love in him, that you need in him, feel it surrounding you. See only his face. Hear only his voice. Imagine his arms holding you. Draw him near to you, and he will be here."

Sansa blinked back her tears, and nodded. She could wait no longer. The pressure in her abdomen creating an unbearable need to push. Her child was ready to be born. Defiantly she scooted herself up to a sitting position, spread her knees, and grabbed for Shae's hand. "Help me!" She implored.

Shae smiled proudly at her and moved near so she could supervise both Sansa and the child she was bearing. Now a midwife, Shae took Sansa's outstretched hand and placed her other under the girl's tightening belly, eagerly providing the resistance Sansa needed. She nodded supportively. "Alright Love, Push!" She ordered.

Drawing in her breath, Sansa gritted her teeth, bent her chin to her chest and urgently complied letting out an unintended yet uncontrollable guttural moan as she felt her baby moving down toward the life she was desperate to give it. Her best intentions only triggering harder, deeper, more urgent needs. She clutched the sheets in one hand, and Shae's fingers with the other and repeated her efforts.

"That's it!" Shae coached. "That's it! Push!"

Over and over, through gritted teeth, Sansa moaned as she bore down hard against the urgent pains in her belly. She was certain it would never end. She had never known such immeasurable agony as her laboring. She could no longer tell where one contraction stopped and the next one started. For hours she fought exhaustion, straining to bring her babe forth.