The Rough Tide

chapter 4

I want to say thank you to IAmACaticorn, Noretakes, JaberaRahman, _witty craze and Star_hugs, you guys inspired me to keep writing this story so thanks.

*Zara*

I woke up the next morning at seven, Ameera was not in her crib which probably meant that she was with Mami. I had my bath and  got dressed. downstairs, the kitchen looked like the aftermath of a tornado

"what are you guys doing?" I asked Mami

"cleaning and clearing out" Mami answered

    Her and Hafsat  were packing out disposable cups, plates and newspaper's from the kitchen store while a grumpy, sleep deprived Aneesa was cleaning and restacking China into the cupboards

"come help us out" Mami said

"uhm..I don't think so.. not yet anyway. where's Ameera?"

"she's asleep in my room" Mami said

"how's her temperature?"

"she was fine when I put her to sleep"

"o.k let me go and check on her"

"sure, you might want to feed her, earlier on when I tried feeding her she refused to eat"

"OK" I answered and quickly made my way to Mami's room. she was lying in the middle of the bed and Mami had used two pillows to make a barrier on either side of her, I picked her up and to my dismay she was burning up badly, and her abdomen looked kind of swollen

"Ameera" I called trying to wake her up but she didnt move, I tried shaking her a bit harder and this time she stirred a little then she opened her eyes, but the eyes staring up at me were not my daughters beautiful stormy black and clear white eyes, instead looking up at me were yellow sickly eyes, all of a sudden a sense of déjà vu came over me as I remembered the first few months of Ameera's birth, and what me and Khalid had gone through. I felt my throat clog as the painful memories of seeing my newly born baby sick and fragile came back to me, I remembered what the doctor had told me the last time we'd taken her to the hospital for her final check up

"the Kasai procedure has been successful and healing is underway, but like I told you before there are times when the procedure fails, you'll know this when the child gets symptoms like high temperature, itching, abdominal swelling, and the strongest of them all  the return of the jaundice, should this happen, a transplant will definitely be required"

I looked at the yellow eyes blinking up at me and a sense of dread and fear washed over me as I gathered her up to my chest and sprinted downstairs to the kitchen , calling out to Mami as i ran, she met me at the dinning area

"Zara what happened? what's wrong?" sha asked, she looked alarmed and so did Aneesa and Hafsat who were standing behind, Aneesa with a cleaning cloth in hand

"Mami, Ameera, look at her her stomach its swollen her eyes are yellow and her temperature is high, that's what the doctor said, the procedure, something must have happened , its..." I was rattling  but Mami cut me short

"Zara slow down, I don't understand what you are saying , here give her to me" she dropped the row of plastic cups she was holding and took Ameera from me

"do you see Mami, she's burning up and her eyes, look at them they are yellow, she'll have to undergo surgery  and she's not crying, why is she not crying, shes too quiet, Mami we..."

"Zara!..." Mami silenced me "calm down ok? she'll be alright in shaa Allah

I just stood there quietly as Mami held Ameera in her arms, she turned to Hafsat and Aneesa and gave them instructions but I didn't hear what she was saying for I was in another place, months ago, as I remembered how fragile Ameera had felt in my arms the first time I held her, then a few weeks later when she'd gotten jaundice and was diagnosed with Biliary Artesia, I was devastated at that time and my little girl had undergone a Kasai procedure, then it hit me,then I'd had all the moral support I needed and Khalid was there, but this time around there's no Khalid, he wasn't here to hold me and comfort me, he wasn't here to hold my hand and tell me that everything will be alright, not this time, this time around i'm all alone, and I needed him, I choked on my sob as I tried to stiffle it and control the tears but I couldn't hold them back anymore, I gave up and let the tears flow.

"Zara!?..." I looked up as Mami snapped me out of my trance of misery, she was wearing her hijab and holding one out to me "...you have to pull yourself together, here wear your hijab and we will go to the Hospital, Rafik (sorry guys I changed her brothers name *Zayd to *Rafik) has gone to start the car"

I took the veil from her and trailed behind her as she headed outside, Rafik was waiting in the car and I got in the back with Mami, once we were settled in and Rafik drove out of the house, Ameera started crying, Mami tried to pacify her but she kept on crying

"may I?" I asked Mami, she nodded and I quickly wiped my tears before taking Ameera from her

"sshh Ameera its ok" I cooed and juggled her on my laps, I faintly heard Rafik ask Mami what was wrong with Ameera but I didn't hear her reply as I focused and turned all my attention on Ameera and tried to get her to stop crying.

"Zara we're here" Mami said tapping me lightly. I got out of the car and went round it past the big hospital sign that read "welcome to Sofia°", I had always wondered what the small "o" at the top stood for but right now, at this moment I couldn't care less. I quickly walked past the sign and headed for the doors of the E.R with Mami right behind me but just as I was going in through the doors Ameera jerked in my arms and to my outmost dismay, she threw up, but it wasn't food, instead it was blood, thick red and slimey blood  which splashed on my clothes, her clothes and the Hospital floors, my eyes widened in horror and I heard Mami's quick words of "innalillahi was Inna ilayhi raji'un" (from Allah we come and to Him we shall return) behind me, I tore my eyes away from the seemingly lifeless body of my daughter and screamed

"somebody help me!"
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eeep chapters up, vo-co my lovely readers.
to explain the kasai procedure, most patients who are diagnosed with biliary artesia (it affects very young children)are able to undergo a Kasai procedure and some are lucky enough that it never fails and they live their life but for some who are not lucky enough like Ameera....well you will know what happens in the next chapter, you will also come to understand about biliary artesia more in the upcoming chapters, keep reading to learn more about it. long A/N, sorry
vo-co and spread the word please.