Where it all began.

Alex

The Before

Ok. I don't have friends but there's just this one person in every class that's the happy loner or something? Well I'm not that person. Ivy Jeffords is. She is probably the most kind-hearted person I know (which is a pretty short list) and she happens to be my sort-of neighbour. I'll explain later. So anyways, she happens to be the person in my life who follows me around like a lost puppy. It gets annoying at times.

I am currently entering the place I like to call Satan's playground. School. I have to come here five days a week. That's pretty obvious but I especially hate it. That would be due to the lack of people with good taste in life.

I am walking to the school counsellor's office. Now you might be thinking, Alex why would you ever go to a shrink in your right mind in high fucking school? Well turns out that this is the big 'tada' of my dark side. I'm an orphan who lives in a crappy foster home with a crappy foster family. Well that sucks. Wait! No, there's more! I have to go to a fucking shrink in high fucking school because I'm a suicidal teen (not that uncommon) who has a billion other crappy things going on which I really don't want to go into. That's gonna ruin the whole miserable vibe we got going on here.

My counsellor, Ms.Richards, would be the least talkative person you would ever meet. That's why she's the reason this place is bearable. Now our daily conversations go like this, "Alex, did you take your prescribed medicines?", "Yup". "Now when was the last time you went to your doctor outside of school?". "Saturday". "Ok. Now go onto class and no more yelling in the middle of class about how medieval women were treated like crap." (Long story) "I only got suspended for a week! But, yeah ok."
That's it. I'll tell you that whole suspended story when I run out of stories. There are always some stories that should be savoured with the right people.

Moving on. This is my usual crappy day at school. I like to say the word crap a lot, maybe it's because my entire existence feels like it.
First period- crap I don't care about. Second period-more crap I don't care about
Third period- Gym. The hell of anyone besides a jock or cheerleader. I skip it most of the time because I'm like that.
Fourth period- Music. The little light I get in my day. It might come as a shock to you but there's one thing I actually care about. That's music. I can actually be free. It's impossible.
Lunch- I skip it. Too many people. Too many germs. Too many things.
Fifth period to the last period- You guessed it, crap!

Then I head over to get my usual fix of caffeine. Dark as my soul. Which is black coffee. No milk.

Time to head home. I walked inside with my key, went inside my room and started blasting music as usual while trying to do some homework. I don't even know why I even try.

My "mom" sneaks a peek at me, thinking that I can't notice her, but I notice everything. To the little specks of dirt on your shoes to the wrinkles on your jeans. It crazy what four years of being alone does to you. My "parents" are pretty uninteresting people who I have nothing to say about because they play no role in my life.

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."- Virginia Woolf. I am completely contradictory to this line by my soul sister. I am the reincarnation of her, or so as I believe to be. I cannot believe what I believe because we are always blinded by our beliefs.

My entire week passes by like this without anything interesting. Not that I except anything interesting to happen. You're gonna learn soon that I am a human completely devoid of hope.

My weekly appointment was probably like you can imagine it to be. My doctor, Ms. Johnson was a yet to be determined person in my book. I'm not sure how I want to describe her yet.

I was walking over to my usual morning counselling conversation when, and no this is not a 'I bumped into a guy and it was love at first sight', seriously how cliché is that? I was walking by the little notice board while heading to the not-so-comfy room, when I saw a sign regarding mental health. Now I'm extremely touchy when it comes to stuff regarding that because I'm a victim of it. I also have everything and anything about it memorised because that's the kind of person I am. It was an average 'Get Help! Don't resort to Suicide' with a bunch of numbers attached to it. What really caught my eye is that usually these kind of posters are put by either teachers, popular kids who are trying to get a good reputation or people running for class president. But this was related to one of the projects we had been assigned in one of our classes. It was about raising awareness about something that we are passionate about. I did mine on music and just recorded a video of me singing and handed it over to the teacher. But this, this had someone else's name on it. Someone from that class. Theo. I have no idea who that could possibly be but it intrigued me. Now I finally remembered that I don't want to be late to an already late session, I walked into the room and the same conversation happened all over again.

[Hi again. I hope you guys like this update. Thanks for reading and don't forget to vote!]