Where it all began.

Alex

The Before

I simply wasn't in the mood for dealing with people again. Not that I ever am.
It was a normal morning as usual. The usual black skinny jeans and hoodie with my hair in a ponytail. I always skip breakfast and never sleep. You heard me. I don't like to sleep nor can I. I go for a run at midnight and blast music, pretty alarming, right? I don't tend to think at those times, all I need is a break from thinking. I know that I have problems. The only difference between me and you is that I don't want to solve mine. I have some alarming secrets that you will discover along the way. I'm like a nesting doll. Every time you open it, a new layer is revealed and more secrets are spilled.

I was walking into class after my usual counselling session into the world of English Literature. Soon I found myself walking into Social studies. The project class, as I like to call it. We had a new project today. Shocker. It was a paired project. Great. Not only do I have to do something I have no interest in but with somebody? That's crossing a line there. The project was to hold a campaign on something we are passionate about and spread awareness in 4 special places to us in our state. I don't even know what I want to do. It counted for 45% of our grade. Of course everyone already chose their partners and there was always that one group of kids who don't have one and get picked last. I'm one of them. Always have, always will be. I like how I state facts in between of opinions. It's like a mix of salty and sweet, not always but has balance in the oddest of places.

In our 36 minutes long lunch, I like to walk to the nearby tall public building, which is inevitably, the huge garage made for people with cars. I like to go to the top and dangle my legs off the edge. I'm a little freakish. There isn't a guard here or many security cameras. What surprises me the most is that the students of this school who are professionals at digging up dirt on people, have never discovered mine. I don't even try to hide it. I know from the outside I might seem like the normal, loner girl. But I'm rarely like that. I'm usually never like that.

On the edge of the building, I usually never get any visitors. Or as I like to call them, my kind of crazy. But that never happens because my crazy doesn't really exist. So I was astounded when someone popped by. A boy, to be exact. He looked familiar. I had seen him in class before. He looked a bit scared to be up here. Sweating uncontrollably. Just like me. Thinking about sweat made me sweat. He walked towards me and just sat down beside me, not saying a word. He stared at my blank expression, when he started a conversation with me, "Hi. Umm, uh do you usually come here and stuff? I'm Theo by the way." Theo. His name ringed an immediate bell in my mind and I replied, "Yeah. Don't really like people that much. I'm Alex. I saw your poster on the notes board yesterday. I thought it was pretty cool." "Thanks. I um, really want to know more about mental disorders, rather than the ordinary stuff. I like the unusual, gives me a challenge for once." "What are you doing up here? I never get company." "Well, I don't want to seem like a creep or something but, uh, I see you coming here and I, uh, finally got the, uh, guts to actually enjoy the view." He smiled and we both turned away from each other, looking forward at the vast expanses of Toronto, that I get to call home. He was nice, to say the least. Still yet to be determined. His little brown curls falling right above his eyes, the way his eyes sparkled in the sunshine, the way he stumbled on his words and tried to flirt with me, and the fact that for the first time, I talked to a complete stranger, that too a boy, on top of my hiding place from the world, while actually blushing. My only fear is coming true: Evolving from my recurring states.

I could hear the faint ringing of the school bell, but I made no move of getting up. Instead, I just sat there. I didn't hear Theo leaving so I turned towards him and said, "Aren't you gonna go to class?" "Nah. I'm feeling a little rebellious today. I have a free period anyways." He smiled again and surprisingly I smiled back at him. Cheese alert! His smile seemed like the sunshine in my darkness. I don't believe that anything his perfect, but his imperfections seemed to have perfections lying there. To break the silence that had settled upon us, he said, "Why do you come here?" That question hit me like bricks. "Oh, I um, I come here to get away from everyone and well think about leaving forever." "Ok". It felt nice to not get a reaction from someone. It made me feel, oddly enough, a bit special. After the bell rang again, I could hear the scribbling on a piece of paper. Theo got up and left a note behind.
Here's my number. Wanna be my partner on the social studies project? I saw you didn't have one and neither did I.
P.S. Smile more often, your pretty face looks better with one. -Theo.

I felt something about him that I couldn't quite place. But there was one thing I knew for sure. This would be the place where it all began.

I stuffed the piece of paper in my bag, got up, and walked back home. My parents weren't there as usual. I went up to my room, grabbed my guitar that was located in the back of my room and started strumming a couple of chords. I got this guitar by saving up every dollar that I got as allowance. To say that it was my prized possession would be underestimating it. It's that one thing that no matter how used, how old, you could never let go of, or replace, simply because of how important it was.
I took out my box that I kept underneath my bed and pulled it out. It held all of my little notes that I made. My favourite ones were-
Life is simply oblivion and oblivion is life, there can never be an in between, only what it is.
We keep dreaming only to keep existing.
Darkness is the light in those who are broken.

I just took them and sang along to the melodies of the guitar. I had to name my guitar. What kind of a person would I be if I didn't name my stuff? An idiotic one for sure. Her name was Aura, and yes you can name your stuff with "girly" names without being judged as "gay". Honestly, life seems a bit rigged.

I was strumming the chords to my favourites, 'Don't be a Fool', 'Three Empty Words', 'Trampoline', 'memories' and about a billion more because I hate everything about life and surround myself with fictions of life that will never exist. I don't believe in the need to learn something in a building where there are people who teach us things which will inevitably turn your brain to mush. I'm never really positive.

I was going through my bag, looking for a piece of paper, when I found the one that Theo gave. I thought about the words written on it and since I had nothing to lose, I typed a quick message to him. I like to use proper grammar because I'm not a caveman.

Me: Hi. It's Alex. The girl you met on the top of the garage building. It would be great to be your partner.

He replied almost instantaneously.

Theo: That sounds amazing

Me: I'm warning you I'm a little too crazy

Theo: I don't think any amount of crazy is too much. It all seems the same.

Me: exactly

Theo: finally someone who gets it. I don't wanna sound creepier than I already do but why do you go to ms. richards office every morning?

Me: u notice that?

Theo: my locker is right next to her room. Now quit changing the subject.

Me: some stuff I don't like to get into.

I saw the ... showing that he was typing, but never sending it. I switched off my phone and continued playing.

[AN: Hi again. I hoped you liked this update. It's a bit longer. Don't forget to vote!]