Where it all began.

Alex

I know not sleeping isn't healthy but I get some sleep sometimes.

My darkness is a trap that when you get caught in it, it can never let you go and you can't leave it either. That describes my entire life in one sentence.

It's 3 am right now. I'm out on a run. Running till my legs can't run, running till I can't breathe anymore. The only thing that's keeping me up and running, is the fear of getting captured by my darkness. I'm figuratively running from it, even though I'm literally running. That makes no sense to me.

At precisely 7:30 in the morning, I got a message from Theo.

Theo: wanna start our project today?

Me:sure

That was our 10 second conversation.

At school, I was repulsed by the caveman behaviour of teenagers. As always, I went to my hiding spot. The roof of the garage. Theo was already waiting for me there. 'Hey. I was, um, wondering if we could have lunch together? Only if you want you know. I don't wanna' 'Sure. I don't really mind.' I replied cutting him off. 'So what are you passionate about?' 'Nothing really. You?' 'Oh, I was um, wondering if we could do it on mental illnesses. Only if you're comfortable.' 'Yeah. Sure. But stop with the hesitation. I'm not gonna hurt you or something.' 'I know, it's just I don't know you that well and you're like a Russian nesting doll. There's something new to discover beneath every layer.' I laughed at the comparison. 'You're comparing me to a goddamn nesting doll? I've heard a bunch of things about me, but that's a new one.' 'What can I do? I'm a comedian.' 'Really?' 'Well yeah, that's what I wanna do. And what I'm good at.' 'That's cool. The only thing that I can stand is music and books.' He nodded, understanding me, trying to unravel me. 'You know, instead of a nesting doll, you should compare me to a ball of yarn. I'll let you figure out the significance.' 'I get it. When you unravel it, you find the thing in the middle, whether it's empty or has a paper ball.' 'Yeah, you got it.'

We continued talking away, until we had to head back to hell. Here's a lesson for you kids, school is the highway to hell. But still, go to school. You don't wanna be homeless.

We headed back to class and texted each other after school. Not like I pay attention in class, he probably does.

[pretty short. I know. I've been missing for sometime now but I'm back!]