JADAS POV
i tried to start my car but couldn't bring myself to do it. i saw him leave his house and walk to the passenger side of the car. he was trying to tell me to unlock the car and to not leave. "jada i'm sorry i didn't mean to yell, please just open the door." i rolled my eyes and wiped my face unlocking the car door. he looked tired like he hasn't gotten any sleep, but you can't blame him.
the thing with alex is you can't stay mad at him for long, it's so unfair. "i'm sorry for confusing you but the truth is...i'm confused myself." i looked out the window not looking at him and not speaking. "i'm sorry for kissing you. i just..i don't know." i looked at him. "do you know what i've been going through because of you." i said rolling my eyes.
"i've had to cry myself to sleep every night because i was scared i was going to loose you. you're my best friend and the most important person in my life." i said unfolding my arms. "i cant loose you alex. i ca-"
"i love you jada." he said cutting me off. i stopped talking. he reached over and wrapped his arms around me again hugging me. not this again. i am not making this mistake again. as bad as i wanted to hug and kiss him i cant. i'm not going to fold. "alex i think you should go back in." i said not looking at him. "what?" he said sitting up. "i think you should go back inside." i started my car and waited for him to leave.
"jada please come inside with me." he started to turn red and frustrated. "alex no i'm not making the same choices i made last time. now go." i didn't want him to go though. i wanted to curl up in his arms and sleep. what is wrong with me. "please jada." i let out a sigh tired and upset and turned my car off. "i fucking hate you alex." i said smiling, like i said i cant stay mad at this boy.
we went into his house and went to his room and tried to talk like normal. tried talking about each other's day and trying to avoid the elephant in the room. the tension between us was obvious but we tried our best to ignore it. he sat at the top of his bed and i sat at the edge.
"have you talked to jess." i said looking at him. he nodded i asked what happened and he told me jess texted him saying she was sorry and that she wants him back, but he told me he ended things for good. i was shocked.
"i thought you loved her?" i said confused. "she wasn't good for me jada i had to let her go." i turned back around facing the wall in silence. my body was getting hotter and hotter.
alex moves closer to the edge next to me. "i know this is confusing right now but our friendship has been through everything. and it will get through this." he said laying down on the edge of the bed now. "you're right." we sat there again in silence but it wasn't awkward. it was expected.
suddenly alex places his hand on my hair and took my bun out. i let him. we looked at each other for a while so many thoughts running through both of our heads thinking the same things.
alex moves his hand on my cheek and i got even hotter. "alex are we sure this is the right move." i said in doubt. "i'm not sure...but fuck it." he pulled me down on top of him and kissed my lips. i kissed back wanting this. i know this is just going to be a repeat but i'm willing to take the chance. i've been yearning alex's hands on my body and now i'm finally getting it. i felt his abs against me as i was on top of him. he laid me down on the bed under him now and began to kiss me again. this time slower. he was taking in every moment of this and i could tell. he moved one hand down towards my baggy t-shirt trying to lift it up.
i stopped him "alex this could be the biggest mistake of our lives, i don't know if this is smart." i was so dependent on him at this time and it showed. i was so vulnerable. "i know but this could also be the best." i thought about it. what does alex want. i am not ready to have sex atleast i don't think i am.
i thought about it for a while until i finally came to a decision, "just take me alex." he licked his lips and went down to kiss me again. i dont know what is going to happen next but i dont care at this point. he started kissing my neck again making my stomach tingle.
this is not happening.
