Agape

She wants to get away

We am I here? Why am I always ruined here? This is the grey area, no black, no white. Good and bad mixing into one. No happiness, no fear, no anger, no nothing. Just this. Whatever this may be.

Alessa looked down at herself. Well at least she saw herself look down at her own self. But she didn't actually feel like she was doing that at all. She was just standing in this room watching this person that was completely identical to herself. That person was now turning and just for a moment Alessa thought this person was looking right into her eyes, but just a fraction of a second later she turned further around and started walking to a table in the room. The identical person grabbed the key chain, which was laying on the table and headed to the door of the room. Since Alessa didn't really know what to do and this room gave her weird vibes she followed her clone. She followed her clone and saw her tying her shoes and grabbing a rain coat. It was not raining. But Alessa did suddenly feel cold as ice. Normally Alessa felt as if she was the king of everything but at the moment she didn't feel that at all. She found herself not even being able to control her emotions or thoughts. Her head was racing. Who was this clone? Why does she look exactly like me and has the same stuff? Why doesn't she notice me? Or does she notice me? She continued to follow her along the nightly roads of Berlin. Not only did her clone not notice her it felt like nobody was acknowledging her existence. Well it wasn't even that bad to be totally honest. It was better than getting harassed which sometimes does happen to her especially at night. But it also felt empty, as if Alessa wasn't actually part of this world. She felt as if she was just a spectator, seeing everything but not being able to do anything about it. Knowing that she couldn't change anything made Alessa uncomfortable.

She also noticed that since she decided to go out a bit to catch fresh air someone followed her. Someone who looked exactly like her. Like to the smallest detail the same. It was at the time she turned around to walk to the table and grab her keys she noticed that person standing there in safe distance. And since that moment this person always followed her just a few meters apart. But it didn't bother her quite as much as she expected it. She was actually quite happy, no happy is not the right word. She felt safe in the presence of this strange clone of herself. She was able to control herself better than normally and her head was rather empty for the moment. It was a feeling she didn't often receive. She continued to go a bigger round than she had initially thought to do, but she was feeling free at last.