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chapter six
( 1 month later )
ELIZABETH HAD ENOUGH. She did not want to be here anymore. She was completely disassociated from her family. Castiel didn't visit very often. Bobby was too far. Jack was the only person she'd talked to in a month.
A whole month.
No one other than him. Granted she absolutely loved his company and attention, Elizabeth needed desperately to see somthing other than this godforsaken bunker with two men glaring at he non-stop.
Elizabeth didn't know how to feel, and as per usual, she only knew how to act. Her emotions had always been so clouded, always over-analyzing every tick her heart felt and attaching every feeling to a chemical in her brain, telling herself it was all in her head to make the job easier that she'd never allowed herself that gasp of fresh air, to let herself feel.
It always hurt Jack, watching her kill herself off just to be numb. He'd read a book once, one he can't quite remember. He read a line that he thinks of every time he sees her. When he sees her ever so slightly tan legs, little stretch marks littered across the back of her calves and her jaw clenched with a thin glaze across her eyes as she hardens her stare on Sam who tells her to not be stupid. He thinks 'But to feel nothing so as to not feel anything— what a waste!'
And he knows it's hard for her, he knows that she knows that she gets tormented for being her father's pick. He knows that she knows that she's getting tortured for something that wasn't even her fault. Jack just wishe's she'd talk to him. That she'd see him gasping for air whenever she smiled at him or having heart attack everytime she gripped onto him or him flying and falling a million miles above the sea and sky whenever their wrists touched.
She'd never let herself be naive which might of been why never let herself see how Jack would look at her. If only she'd just realize the matching marks they had on their wrist, the one that weren't put there by birth but by a certain someone chuckling to himself as he waits for the two to finally come to their senses and embrace the other softly. A certain someone that I groaning when he sees them almost but not just quite realize what the matching red ophiuchus constellation on the spot between their thumbs and their wrist.
"I can see it in your eyes," Jack jumped up so high his brains would've painted the ceiling.
"Castiel!" the technically teenager screeched.
"you love her." Castiel continued, thankfully ignoring the horrifying voice crack in Jack's voice.
"what? I-I am unaware of–" Jack spluttered because to an extent he truly didn't understand.
"do not play stupid, Jack. You and I both know what you're feeling, I just know the word for it."
A silence.
"what is love, Castiel? Is it truly just a neurochemical? Is it nothing but a mere emotion? Is it nothing but a cheap tool that has been waxed lyrical through thousands of years of poetry?" Jack pondered. But for some reason he himself could not understand, the back of his eyes began to sting.
Castiel paused to think, trying to enunciate his thought.
"I believe," Castiel began. "I believe that love, as ambiguous and odd as it may be, is more. More, than thinking and feeling. I believe that real love, she who comes in so many different forms, is a separate way of being. It is a form of creation, a form of art itself. Love, romance, friendship. The purest form of these things is not which makes you feel best, but which resonates in your bones. True love, whatever it may be, is not carnal, not passionate and not jealous. It is... mesmerizing. It is a breaking point and a starting point. These kinds of love, hurtful as it may be, is there to create something. Whether a bond, a life or a memory."
"it burns Castiel. It makes me feel like im on fire. The bad kind. Or the good kind. I cannot tell any more." Jack have his elder a watery smile.
"you are lucky. I never got the chance to experience a bond such as this. You should cherish it, no matter if it hurts so much you crave death." The angel smiled, feeling his own eyes become a little misty themselves, before once more, the former servant of heaven disappeared to a place unknown.
Jack, corpus acting on impulse, had the spontaneous urge to see Elizabeth. It was one of those moments where he knew and yet didn't know what he wanted to say.
He ever so lightly knocked on the door, it swinging open with the slightest touch. Elizabeth was there, a deer caught in headlight as she placed clothes into a bag.
"Jack?" She gaped, mouth falling open and closed yet words never leaving.
"what are you doing?"
"leaving."
Jack felt his shoulders heavy, and to continue an evening of acting without thinking, of breaking the damns, he uttered a question that he never thought he would ask.
"may I come?"
And again, he received an answer he never thought to receive.
"of course."
a/n: I NEED HELP:
im writing a bxb fic who should it be about
edit: I do other fandoms oTHER FANDOMS THAN SPN, TVD AND TO
