Putrid Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 2

Mr. Bennet, despite his words, was one of the earliest to visit the newcomer at Netherfield. Both for the sake of his wife, though he denied telling her until afterwards, and to see what had become of the dreaded North. In due time, he found the moment to disclose his visit, and while watching his second daughter trimming a hat which had long since fallen out of style, he addressed her;

"Let us hope Mr. Bingley will not see your creation as a triviality dear Lizzy"

"We are in no way to know my dear Mr. Bennet, since there is to be no visit" there was most certainly resentment in her mother's voice.

"You forget mama, that we will meet him at the next assemblies, though they have become more of a meeting to discuss the rot nowadays" said Elizabeth, "Mrs. Long also made promise to introduce us"

"It is foolish to think Mrs. Long will do anything of the like, with two nieces fit to be married and her selfish nature I think little of her character"

"I find her no more likeable than you" Mr. Bennet, "and I am glad you do not rely on her aid"

Mrs. Bennet, not yet quite ready to forgive her husband for his supposed failing of duty to his daughters, turned to her second youngest and began scolding the girl.

"Don't keep coughing so Kitty! One might think you have the disease rotting your lungs as we speak!" she berated, "Have you no compassion for my nerves?"

"You very well know that whatever is plaguing the world is nothing like influenza" said her father, "though Kitty's coughs are ill timed, there will be no telling if she has caught it until she comes crawling from her grave"

"Father I do not cough for my amusement" cried Kitty, "and I am hopefully long from being buried in a funeral gown"

"Quite right, now Lizzy when is your next ball to be?"

"Tomorrow fortnight" she replied, "unless something ambles from the grave which will cause it to be postponed"

"So it is!" cried her mother, "Mrs. Long does not return until the day prior; she will not know Mr. Bingley herself and couldn't possibly introduce us"

"Then you are free to have the advantage of your friend, and instead introduce Mr. Bingley to her"

"Impossible, I know not the man myself for you have refused to make his acquaintance so I am no longer a stranger, how could you tease me so?"

"I honour your view, a fortnights acquaintance means little and certainly does not reveal a man's character, especially a character from so distant a place. He may even be the barbaric sort, carrying both knife and pistol out in the open, though I would not blame him considering his origins. But if we refuse to venture others will, and I am sure Mrs. Long and her nieces would appreciate the chance and take it as an act of kindness"

"How you try my nerves Mr. Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed as their daughters watched their father, "Nonsense utter nonsense is all you speak"

"In saying that one might think you believe the manners of introduction so" mused he, "I cannot say I no longer disagree, but please Mary, you are well read as any, what have you say on the matter?"

The girl wished to say something clever, but at the time found herself speechless, so her father returned his attention to the matter at hand.

"While Mary collects her thoughts, for I know there must be a great deal of them" said he, "let us return to the crux of the matter, Mr. Bingley"

"Oh how sick I have grown of that name" cried his wife, "I now think it better to have never mentioned it at all"

"How dreadful it is for you Mrs. Bennet, you should have spoken to me before otherwise I would not have called on him this morning. It is bad luck, one might say worse luck than the disease slowly spreading to the country, but like it there is nothing at the present moment allowing us to fully escape the acquaintance now"

The shock of both daughters and wife had been his goal, and though he succeeded it was not long before Mrs. Bennet began exclaiming that she knew he would have ensured the introduction of himself and Mr. Bingley.

"Delightful, simply wonderful!" Mrs. Bennet cheered, "I knew I should make you see sense, no good father would pass up such a chance for a daughter of his to be settled to comfortably. No matter no matter, it was an amusing jest for the while despite its stress and aggravation. See girls? Your father loves you all deeply"

"Kitty you are free to cough as much as you wish, for now this matter has been settled" Mr. Bennet left the room slightly subdued, exhausted by the mannerisms of his wife.

"What good a father you have my girls" Mrs. Bennet grinned once he had left, "Though making new acquaintances at our age can be trying, we would do anything to assure you find futures filled with wealth and comfort, so you needn't ever see the dead. Lydia, my love, though you are youngest I am quite sure Mr. Bingley will dance several times with you at the next ball"

"Oh!" Lydia said, "I am not afraid; though I am youngest I am tallest, and I am quite adept at steering men away from their chittering's about the plague and onto more comfortable topics"

The remainder of the afternoon consisted of contemplating how soon the newcomer at Netherfield would return Mr. Bennet's visit, and discussing when they should ask him for dinner. 

A/N:

If you're wondering, this is indeed going to be a complete rewrite and though it is a formidable task I'm hoping I'll be able to succeed.

Thank you for reading chapter 2!