The Art Of Falling Apart

6

I lay on my head staring emotionlessly in the direction of my clock. It screams loudly, shrieking against my ear, a hammer slamming mercilessly against my head.

How long until it ends?

I stand up, turn my alarm off and sloppily make my way into the bathroom. Subconsciously, I go through my routine; brush my teeth, shower, dress, fix my hair, grab my breakfast and into the car.

My mum drives me to school.

"Bye". I can get through this. Another five days till the weekend.

8:45

I lean against the wall, looking at my phone.

The bell rings. I close my eyes for a second before I make my way to my locker, I grab my books, check my timetable and make it to my class.

Humanities.

9:10

I sit down, stare at my books, waiting. The lesson begins and the day drags on. As usual they whisper and laugh. I know its about me, the side eyes they give, the rumors they spread.

How long until it ends?

10:20

The school day drags on, tiredness clinging to me like sticky tar.

Another routine I follow instinctively, I go to class then I go to recess where I pretend as if I'm listening to my friend chatter about another tv show she's watching. I smile and laugh asking questions.

Can you see that I don't care?

I hate pretending.

Then classes, lunch, more classes.

3:09

I stare aimlessly at the clock and the last bell finally rings. I push against the ever-increasing horde of students to my locker, grabbing my bag and walking to the car. I get in, my mum starts the car. 

Then I'm home where I change, and I go on my laptop and do nothing. My room which gives me false security, I watch tv shows or read, spending my time thinking of others stories but never mine. Then it's dinner where I hope there will be no more fights. But I should have known better than that.

He's yelling again. And my mum stands there and I know right then that she's also wondering too. She's also wondering the same as I am. 

How long until it ends?