Roses In Bahamas

Chapter 30: "She's never gonna...."

Caroline's P.O.V.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

I turn my head around at the voice. Jay flashes me a smile which made a smile appear on my face.

"Ya, it's really beautiful out here," I said, leaning on the railing, looking at the view in front of me.

Palm trees were everywhere- the cool, morning breeze making their leaves dance. The beach was right outside our hotel, so we could see little kids running into the clear, blue water. The golden sand was being occupied by loads of people and I smile at the sight of a little boy building a massive sandcastle with his mom.

Jay came over to the railing of the balcony as well and stood right beside me.

The both of us stayed in a comfortable silence, staring out onto the beach. I took my camera from around my neck and snapped a couple photos.

A few minutes pass by before one of us spoke up.

"You see that little boy and his mom building that big sandcastle?" Jay asked, a sad, thoughtful smile on his face.

"Yeah," I said, looking over at him

He let out a sigh before looking over at me. His eyes were glazed like they were somewhere far away.

"You remember how I said that something happened while we were doing last-minute wedding preparations the other day?" he asks, looking down.

I think back to that day.

"Yeah, you told me, over-text, that something happened," I said, remembering the text messages.

"I should've told you sooner, but I didn't know how," Jay said, letting out a deep breath.

I gave him an assuring smile. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, no. I do want to tell you." He bit his bottom lip, gazing back over to the beach.

"My mom and I were extremely close- way closer than I'll ever be with my dad. She knew everything about me- the girls I liked, my favorite teacher, what I like to do, my favorite TV show, and basically everything about me. She would cook me my favorite recipes of hers and we would sit by the fire telling stories to each other. She was an author and she got me into writing. Now I keep a journal with me and I write in it everyday. She was my best friend and no one could ever replace her," he stopped for a few seconds.

"Have you talked about your mom to anyone else before?" I quietly ask, wondering if this was the first time in years that he's talked about his mom out loud.

He shook his head and looked down.

"She passed away when I was 13. It's been 4 years, but I still think about her everyday. I didn't cry at all until 2 weeks after the funeral. I think that's when I realized she's never coming back. She's never gonna tell me stories ever again. She's never gonna cook me my favorite pasta ever again. She's never gonna..." he trailed off, and I look over at him.

There was a single tear rolling down his face, but he didn't wipe it off. It was like he didn't realize he had started crying.

It broke my heart seeing him cry.

I take a hesitant step towards him before wrapping my arms around him like he was a teddy bear.

"You'll be ok. Let yourself cry," I whisper, rubbing his back soothingly.

He had immediately hugged me back and his head was stuffed in the crook of my neck.

All the pieces of my heart flew out of me as Jay let out a heartbreaking sob.

I hug him even tighter and I could feel his tears wetting my shirt, but I didn't care.

We both held each other tightly, neither one of us saying a single word.