Who Kissed Charlie Fine?

Chapter 11 (Part One)

After Cherie was laid to rest, Charlie drove Martin back to the house before setting back out again to join the others for a reception at the Warner's home. Cherie's parents accepted his condolences warmly, either choosing not to blame him for bringing Martin to the reunion or simply unaware of the connection between events.

He was disappointed but not surprised that Mary and Imogene were not in attendance. He had observed them holding hands with Graham throughout the final service with no hint of estrangement despite her brother's lack of courage in defending her where Eric was concerned. Graham's attitude towards Charlie was less cool at the Warner's, given the situation, and his suggestion that they should meet up later at a pool hall for a guys' night out along with Calvin and Adesh was met with resounding agreement from the old classmates. Lennox wasted no time jumping on board with nary a facetious remark from Rose who'd been keeping her distance from the group for most of the afternoon.

At some point, Jean became stuck to Charlie's side. She seemed at first only to want to inform him of what every dip and casserole of the buffet spread was made of, but soon her shy flirtation and sighing over the lack of local eligible bachelors set off warning bells and Charlie dipped a baby carrot in a risotto dish out of pure distraction. Thankfully she didn't come right out and suggest they try dating which spared him from having to state he had no interest in her romantically whatsoever. He could tell she was frustrated with herself for not speaking more plainly, and she let out a barely audible whimper when Opal latched onto his free arm and insisted he join her and Calvin for dinner at their house on Thursday night.

"Honey, I might have a thing," Calvin said vaguely.

"Even if you do I still won't take no for an answer," said Opal, causing Charlie's neck to stiffen in surprise when she patted his stomach just above his belt and added, "Someone's got to feed you."

Charlie felt like a wishbone snapping in favour of the woman who looked most primed to pick him clean. If only as a means to his inquiring ends, he accepted the invitation. Who knew what Opal was up to? She was most certainly up to something. Calvin, for his part, seemed completely unbothered, relieved even, to have it settled. He'd always been too trusting a soul.

As Jean tried dipping a consolation carrot in the risotto like it was a thing, Charlie Houdini-esquely freed himself of Opal's grip and headed to the bathroom. He considered waiting the party out in there, but he might have to explain why and that was not the kind of thing he wanted the day's event to be remembered for.

******

Back at Sterling's, boredom and curiosity had gotten the better of Martin who decided to take a proactive approach to the booby-traps situation by snooping around the house in search of them.

After trying to use a step-stool loosened to fall apart beneath him, he found some shoe boxes on the top shelf of a closet housing set mouse traps more likely to punish feeling fingers than rodents at that height. He found a piggy bank in the pantry which looked like a cookie jar and hissed when he shook it. This he took outside to smash on the lawn with a heavy stick that jabbed him in the thigh after a standard ironing board fell out of another closet and made him jump back into a pile of branches in the hallway. Inside the jar was a small noise box like one that would be inside of a toy, along with a hundred dollar bill with a two-word expletive written on it with black marker. Martin pocketed it, intending to present it to Charlie. Better that he should inherit the money than the little girl in Belize.

In a lower guest bathroom Martin came across a scale that had small wheels drilled into the bottom of it. He wondered if Sterling had imagined that anyone from the National Geographic would have stopped to weigh themselves while hunting for him so that a slip might cause them to wipe out hard on the tiled floor or bash their heads on the counter, giving him time to escape through a window. Carefully he stowed it in the cabinet under the sink in case Charlie had any concerns about his figure. "I'm a good friend," he told himself while doing it.