Baby Blue Eyes 1

Chapter 45

Today was hard for me because Damon has left for New York. Bella was okay with saying goodbye to Damon but I wasn't, I wanted to cry but I couldn't because of my daughter and I hate for my daughter to see me weak even though she has seen me in a worsen state than me crying over a guy that I don't love. 

There's a big difference between love and like, with Damon I won't get to that point of love if one day in the future he tells me that he loves me which I don't see that happening because after what happened last night Damon is better off without me. It's true everything I said to Marshall it's all true but too bad he doesn't see how much I truly love him and even if he does see it he wants me to break up with him that I have no problem of doing but the one problem is I don't want to break Damon's heart because he is a good guy and doesn't deserve a broken heart, in fact Damon deserves so much better than me. 

Face the facts I can never make him happy because my brain will always wonder off to Marshall. Before I completely give up on Marshall I need to tell him one last time that I love him.

Today I'm gonna go by Marshall's house to tell him I love him and then leave, hopefully in the process of me leaving he will come after because he can't lose me because of our love is too strong to be broken. Right now I'm on my way to Marshall's house, I'm pulling up in his driveway and exit my car. 

I'm so nervous to tell him again that I love him when I told him it wasn't face to face, eye to eye, heart to heart it was him leaving me and me grabbing his arm crying over how much I love him and how much I don't want this to end. I stand at his door and take a big breath to calm my nerves down, I knock on his door a few times, I hear him groaning as he opens the door. 

He opens the door and from the moment he lays his eyes on me he glares at me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Marshall glares at me "I want to talk to you" I tell him and sigh "Don't you understand that I want nothing to do with you" He yells "Yes I understand that" I nod "Good, now go away" He demands harshly "Marshall, please it's important" I beg "Nothing you fucking say is important to me anymore" Marshall yells at me "Please" I beg, he sighs in annoyance and tries to close the door 

"For gods sake I love you" I scream at him, he stops himself from closing the door and just stares at me in heart break "I wish you felt that way but you don't" His voice cracks "Marshall" I stare at him in disbelief "Womens lied to me far too many times I don't wanna be lied to again" With that he closes the door leaving me outside his house feeling stupid about why I once again told him how I feel. 

I can't believe he thinks I'm lying to him. I guess it's time to give up. I guess we weren't meant for each other but the love we had was pure it was the type of love I never knew existed and it will always live with me in my heart til the day I die.