Out

Part Seven

Benji

"What happened?" Drew smirks at me when Jorge and Olivia walk away.

"Fuck. I don't even know," I set my duffle bag on the ground rub my hands over my face. "We hooked up last night."

"I mean, I figured. There's a fat hickey on your neck," Drew laughs. "How'd it happen?"

"He called me last night and said he wanted to hang out, so I picked him up and then we fucked around in my car. He said he wanted to go to my house so we went and," I take a break to breathe. "And then we had sex."

"Isn't that good?" Drew says, clearly confused on why I'm stressed about the situation. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"No," I say way too quickly. "I mean, yes, I wanted to have sex with him, but I don't just want that. I want all of him, not just that part."

The bus stops in front of the gym and everyone begins to board it. Jorge and Olivia sit together in the middle and I follow Drew to the back. When we sit down, I watch Jorge laugh at something Olivia has said. His eyes light up as his perfect little teeth show.

"He said it was just sex," I turn to Drew. "But then he spent the night. And he wanted to cuddle. I did too, but like, he started it."

"Why are boys more confusing than girls?" Drew furrows his eyebrows as he thinks in deep concentration.

"I don't know," I whine and rest my head on the seat in front of me.

***

The crow roars when we make our final touchdown of the game, celebrating our victory. The rest of the team and the cheerleaders run out onto the field to congratulate us with screams of happiness and excitement.

"You guys did so good," I watch Olivia scream and jump into Drew's arms, giving him a hug. I smile at them and turn to Jorge who's staring awkwardly behind them.

"Benji, you guys did great," I can barley hear Jorge over everyone else. Looking at him, I remember everything that's happened over the past twenty-four hours. There's a deep pain in my chest from just looking at him. I don't feel like celebrating anymore.

"Thanks," I give him a small smile and turn back to my team, trying to forget how much I miss him.

After the team's calmed down and most of the crowd is gone, we line up to shake hands with the other team. We head back to the guest locker room, but someone yelling caught my attention.

"Hey," A football player from the other team smiles at Jorge when he turns around. He has short blond hair and perfect teeth. His jaw line is sharp and his shoulders wide.

"Hey," Jorge looks at the ground awkwardly.

"I saw you cheering and I," He clears his throat. "I was wondering if I could get your number?"

"Oh, um-"

"Benji, stop watching them," Drew spins me around and puts his arms around my shoulders, leading me to the locker rooms. "Come on."

"Do you think he gave it to him?" My stomach turns at the idea.

"No," Drew says way too fast. "Benji, you look like you're going to kill someone. Take a deep breath."

I look down at my hands to see them balled in fists, knuckles white. My chest is heaving and I try to slow down my breathing.

"Remember, he spent the night with you. He didn't have to do that, you know?" Drew pats my back and grabs a towel before walking to the showers. I follow him, hoping the hot water will help loosen the tense muscles in my back. It doesn't.

When I'm finished showering, I put on a pair of sweatpants and a white T-shirt. I throw everything in my bag and follow my team to the busses. Because we drove so far for the game, we can't drive back tonight and are staying in a hotel down the street.

"When we get to the hotel, we'll announce everyone's roommates and hand out the keys," My coach tells us when everyone's on the bus. Jorge's sitting with Olivia again, but just a few seats in front of me. He turns around to look at me as if he could feel me staring at him. There's a deep blush on his face and I tell myself it's because of the exercise or maybe because he took a shower and not because he was flirting with that guy.

"I think that we're in the same room," Drew says, making me look away from Jorge. "I asked coach earlier."

"Thank god," I groan. Last time we did this I was roomed with a bunch of underclassmen who wanted to stay up all night and sneak out. They ended up getting in trouble for leaving and I got yelled at for not stopping them.

"Yeah, he's trying to keep the seniors together, I think," Drew says when we pull up to the hotel.

"Okay, once you get into your rooms, you are allowed to leave until ten o'clock. At ten we will be going around and checking that everyone is in their rooms and nobody is to leave once your room has been checked."

A few people mumble 'yes sir' and simple 'okay's. Coach begins to read who's in what room but I zone out, thinking about Jorge talking to that guy.

He was attractive, more attractive than me, and bigger. He was obviously out, and that had always been something the Jorge and I struggled with. He had a nice smile and looked kind. Jorge would be crazy not to give him his number, but the thought made my skin hot.

"Benji," I snap back into reality when coach says my name. "Drew, Nick, and Jorge."

"What no, that's a mistake," Jorge stands up and walks towards coach, looking stressed. "I'm supposed to be with Olivia."

"You know it's against school rules to be with the opposite gender," I had assumed Jorge would be paired with girls from the cheerleading squad. I guess the school doesn't take in account sexuality. Jorge groans, but grabs the keys and stomps out of the bus.

"Of course we're together," I mumble and follow Drew out of the bus and to our room.