15 yr old Jessica Rodriguez had a difficult upbringing after telling her mother about what happened with her step father her mother kicked her out of the house at the ago of 9 yrs old she had to do sexual favors for transportation as the guys offere...
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Jessica's POV Around 3:00 in the afternoon after being poked and prodded for what seemed like an eternity. They finally finished processing my rape kit as we made our way to Olivia's apartment all I wanted to do was hop in the shower as Olivia gave me some clothes I could wear for now. As I take off my clothes and examine my bruises in the mirror I couldn't help but be ashamed of myself for getting myself in that situation. As I make my way over to the tub and get in and as the warm water hits my skin I couldn't help but cry. As I try to scrub the filth of him off my body but no matter how hard I scrubbed I still didn't feel clean I felt dirty and disgusted with myself for not doing anything for not seeing the signs for making myself a victim and I couldn't control the sobs as I scrubbed harder. As I thought about what my step dad did and what he made me do how he used me for his sex games and took videos as he made me wear slutty outfits his own personal photo shoots his own personal model. And all I could do was obey scared of what he'd do to me. As tears start to cloud my vision and the next thing I know is Olivia pulling me out of the shower and wrapping me up in a towel so I wouldn't be embarrassed as I change and then meet Olivia in the living room.
"About what you saw in their that doesn't usually happen to me I guess my body just reacted to shock." I said feeling slight embarrassed at being caught in that state.
"It's complete understandable and normal not the first and definitely not the last person it happened to so don't beat yourself over it." Olivia said in a soothing tone.
"I just felt dirty and disgusted and ashamed in myself and it was like no matter how hard I scrubbed I could never get clean and the sexual assaults kept replaying over and over in my head how I couldn't see the signs for putting myself in those situations for making myself a victim and I saw myself as a little girl being victimized by my step father and all he did to me and what he made me do how he would use me for his sex games and how he took videos as he made me wear slutty outfits for his own personal photo shoots his own personal model and all I could do was obey willingly scared of what he'd do to me if I didn't I feel nothing but death in my heart and I don't think it's ever going away." I said feeling the need to explain myself as I was emotionally and physically drained from this whole situation.
"I know right now it feels impossible but you are going to get through it in time." Olivia said with such love and compassion looking like she believed that gave me such hope as she was providing me some healing from the tragedy.
"You really believe that." I asked with hesitation as I didn't want to have false hope if it wasn't true.
"I know so you just got to trust me." She said in a soft soothing tone as she gave me such relief and one thing I never thought I'd feel faith.
"I'll try to (sighs) can't believe I'm having his baby my rapist child how can I raise a baby and go through this knowing we're he or she came from that monster when he or she's gonna be a constant reminder of what he put me through all I'm gonna see is him in my child doesn't deserve that my baby deserves to be loved and I don't know if I'm capable of loving it." I said with frustration as more tears fell down my cheeks.
