Blackbird

Makeover

We've been back on tour for a few weeks now. The band is doing a soundcheck on stage and i'm sitting in one of the empty seats of the large venue. I watch them go through the routine as I think over the past month or so. The trip to California was needed and it helped a lot but ever since we've gotten back on the road it's been go go go. Traveling from one place to the next, city after city and state after state. Ever since the night that I woke up with Andrew back in my apartment our relationship has slowly been getting better. there's still tension and hesitancy but it's healing, it's building the trust that matters. However we still haven't had sex again, I don't know why it bothers me so much but it does. It's not just sex, we've barely kissed. I mean it's not like we've had a lot of time or privacy, we don't when we are touring especially with how many shows he's doing. And we had only ever had sex a few times. Maybe it's the fact that he did fuck another girl and hasn't touched me since, that jealousy, that fear and insecurity gnawing away, that bothers me. I'm almost tempted to change that, I want him to touch me and love me again. Maybe I will change that, I may not want to go all the way right now. But I do want his affection again. I want to be held and kissed.

Mia walks off stage calling my name but I'm too deep in thought to hear her until she's waving her hand in front of my face and calling my name.

"Oh! Sorry I was lost in thought" I say shrugging and swinging my legs back and forth on the short wall I've been sitting on.

"What's all this about? You're hardly ever that distracted" She asks.

I pause a moment glancing up at the ceiling of the venue. I start out slowly, "How do I get Andrew to love me again, not that he's stopped. " I sigh "Just , he's stopped being affectionate, or paying all that much attention to me. Can you help?" I give her my best puppy dog eyes to try and persuade her.

"That depends on what you define as help. I can give you advice?"

I nod enthusiastically.

She takes a deep breath and begins. "Well, you two fell rather hard and rather quickly. Why don't you go back to basics. Touring is busy but try and get out together when you can, talk to each other and learn about each other. I'm sure there is lots you two haven't told each other."

"How do I get him to step away from working, even when we have a bit of a break he's gone back to just shutting himself up with the guitar." I look down at my hands "There's something about it that makes me not feel attractive or wanted even if he says he does."

Mia leans back on the wall deep in thought, "I have an idea on how to help with that."

Mia drags me to where the other girls are, "Okay we are all going out tonight to give Aria a makeover, she needs a confidence boost and we need to get Andrew's hands off the guitar and onto her."

I blush at the way she says it but the others don't notice.

Alana pipes up excitedly, "That's a great idea! It's been awhile since we've had a good shopping trip and we have the day off tomorrow too!"

I get a bit pale at the idea, remembering the last shopping trip where I was shoved into countless dresses.