Is It Pretty To Be Broken?

Liz's Vulnerability

It was only 6 AM when Melissa's first alarm rang, breaking the peaceful silence inside the studio apartment that was filled with not just one, but 5 sleeping girls, scattered around the room. These girls were currently on their trip abroad to see this band called The Maine. This is the story about Liz's journey to find herself in a sea of uncertainty.

If it was like any other day, that first alarm wouldn't do a good job of waking up the heaviest sleeper in the room, aka Melissa or as her friends called her, Liz. However, that morning was special because that day was the day she finally got to see her favorite band and it was just a long due show deserved.

While the rest of the girls were up and about doing their make up routine after a shower, Liz decided she would just clean up and do her make up since she had taken a shower the night before. It wasn't long until Liz and her girls were on their way to the show venue already.

Here's the thing she loved so much about going to her favorite bands' shows, she gets to see like-minded people and she loved the idea of meeting this complete stranger and ends up as friends, just as she did on that very day. Lizzie who traveled in a group of 6 met this native girl who spent her entire life in the city and they ended up being friends overnight. At shows, she only needed two hours to be this close to someone.

The wait until the door's opened seemed like forever in Liz's mind, yet sitting under the bright, hot, summer sun was worth it when she finally stood in front of the stage super close. Her friends were at the barricade while she was against their back, but then again, Liz didn't mind. She just wanted to be able to enjoy herself for the night, she wanted to be free. She wanted to live the moment.

As soon as the lights were out and the boys of The Maine entered the stage, she knew she will start crying. Whether it's a cry out of happiness or sadness, she just knew the evening will only get more emotional. When that first note of "Slip The Noose" hits, she was ready to give herself to the show. She felt every strum of guitars in her veins as her heartbeats in accordance with the drum, and she sang. Every word of every song. She sang like those lyrics were the only language she spoke and she jumped with every bit of energy she had for the night. Those lyrics hit her hard but she was not going to melt her make in the first song, so she kept it together.

Break down, hysteric and young
Uncomfortably numb
Then you sent my pain into oblivion
I was on the verge of breaking down
Then you came around
And not a second too late

"Do not cry, Melissa. Not now. Not on the very first song. You have a good makeup day, don't ruin it! You've spent an hour for this eyeliner this morning!" Liz thought to herself and kept her tears in as the set continues.

The next song of the set was playing and she successfully kept herself together. No tears yet. Makeup's worn off a little but it's still there. The moment the band played their third song, "Am I Pretty?" there was this sudden realization that no makeup could hide her imperfect skin. She couldn't help but stare at John O'Callaghan, the lead singer of The Maine whose face was close to perfection.

With his lean yet toned body, capable of carrying his own weight to do extreme jumping on stage, supported by that very sharp jawline, with beautiful roman-shaped nose right in the middle of his perfectly proportioned face, and a pair deep hazel eyes that would melt any girls' heart, how could a man looking as perfect as John still question his look?

Am I pretty?
Do people like me yet?
Is there a party? Am I invited?
It's such a pity, no one adores me yet
So make me up in a shade that fits me
Tell me love oh "Am I pretty?"

"If a man with a look that good and a voice that sounded like an angel still feels insecure, how am I supposed to feel about my body and how I look? No makeup could hide my imperfection, no amount of concealer could conceal my insecurities and no eyeliner nor mascara would make my dopey eyes look more awake. No lip color is gonna help that dark circle around my lip or those acne scars I've gotten over the years." Liz took her sweet time venturing the darker, slightly scarier part of her mind. She paid her locked insecurities a visit and in that moment, listening to Am I Pretty felt like a hit in the chest, because it hurt. It hurt her to think about how ugly she must have looked for the people around her. It hurt her to think how no one would want to take a second look at her because of those allergy scars on her face.