Spenser hidden world

chapter 8

Clay had gone off to his office to deal with the fall out of Sandra death will while the other members of Seal decided to go somewhere to talk

Jason POV:
"His so broken, my son." Ray stated as we watched Marco from on the top of the hill as he fired into the distance target

"Mine aren't any better off." Eric stated "By the time we get them back to the states I think they'll need therapy."

"Mine will I know that." Trent agreed as did Brock

"I don't know about mine. I don't even know much about her."

"She'll get better Jace."

"But when she does she won't be here, I've got grandchildren who I don't know a daughter who consider this place home and I'm taking that away." I replied "I can help feeling like I'm destroying her life here. She's already lost so much."
"Can I ask you something?" Beka asked as she sat beside her father who looked surprised
"Sure."
"Would you rather her be safe and loved but risk the possibility of her hating you or would you rather her die somewhere but loved you instead."
"Why?" Eric asked
"Because right here and now that the choices each of you have to make, we're not stupid the moment we got out here we were aware of the risk. I know that today I might live but I can't promise tomorrow and I willing accept that, that is my fate and possibly my future." She replied looking at the sky
"How are you so calm about it?" Brock asked
"I don't see the point, what is the point of me being scared and afraid of something I know will happen. I'm not immortal  and even if I would I'd hate every minute of it." Beka replied before turning to me "Everyone else gets to talk to their children whether we like it or not but you don't. I know it not much but I willing to answer questions for you."
"Thank you and that's very kind. Umm... How many children does she have?"
"9. 6 boys and 3 girls."
"Names?"
"Xavier, Caiden, Jason junior aka JJ, Silas, Alaric, Ambrose, Elara, Celeste  and Amaya."
"What about Lucky, what's her real name?"
"Lucinda."
"Favourite song?"
Aurora, murder song."
"Murder song?"

"Five, four, three, two, one
Five, four, three, two, one
He holds the gun against my head
I close my eyes and bang I am dead
I know he knows that he's killing me for mercy
And here I go
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
And here I go
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
He holds my body in his arms
He didn't mean to do no harm
And he holds me tight
Oh, he did it all to spare me from the awful things in life that comes
And he cries and cries
I know he knows that he's killing me for mercy
And here I go
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
And here I go
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
He holds my body in his arms
He didn't mean to do no harm
And he cries and cries
He did it all to spare me from the awful things in life that comes
And he cries and cries
Five, four, three, two, one
Five, four, three, two, one
Ah
Ah
Ah
Ah
Five, four, three, two, one
Five, four, three, two, one
Five, four, three, two, one
The gun is gone
And so am I
And here I go." Beka sang

Trent POV:
He voice was so haunting as you saw the look in her eyes as she looked towards the sky singing softly to a melody in her head
"You favourite as well?" Sonny asked
"One of the teams favourites."

"Why?" I asked

"It reminds us, that we're human and that one day we will die but it gives us hope that if one day we do turn, someone will stop us." She smiled "No matter what it takes."

"Even at the cost of your life?" Ray asked

"How would you feel if you were the reason your family is died, your siblings the people who come to trust you killed and it your fault." She asked

"I would never betray them."

"I wish so much that I had the ability to say the same thing but the truth is that I can't promise that my actions will not lead to their death so it is my hope that if one day I am no longer capable of stopping myself..." She looked straight at us "I pray one of my family or friends have the mercy to do it for me."

"It's not going to come to that." Brock replied

"We're taking you home. Where you belong." I stated "But right now, we'll settle with having you on base." 

"Have you thought we don't belong there." She replied "We've been  here for so long being part of that again, I honestly don't know if I am capable of going back."

"I'm sorry." Eric stated and we all turned to him "This wasn't your fight at least not yet and even tho you knew it you still fought."

Before anyone could respond a boy came racing up the hill and jumping on to her

"Oh hello." She smiled hugging him close

"Who's this?" Jason asked

"This is Ambrose." Beka stated "Ambrose you remember the Seals right?"

"Yea." He replied pointing to Jason "That's mummy father."

"He is remember his name?"

"Jason."

"Have you been to America?" Brock asked

'Twice but we never leave the plane."

"Plane?"

Jason POV:

"Plane?"

"When they we're younger Sara would have them travel with her. The went to all countries including America however they weren't allowed out of the plane there."

"Why not?"

"In some other countries we travel with teams around but we decided that America wasn't the best place for them to go exploring." She replied before turning to Ambrose "Hey what was the last place you visited?"

"We went to Italy. It was so pretty and mummy took us to Trevi foundation and we made a wish and Venice. Where are we going next?"

"We'll you'll all be taking a little ride to a base near here." Brock replied

"Will mummy be coming?"

"She's already there."

"Is she awake?"

"Not yet."

"Will mummy wake up?"

"I don't know sweetheart." Beka replied "I hope so and I know that they are doing everything they can to get your mummy back on her feet."

"YO!"

We turned to see Marco at the bottom of the hill shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked towards us

"CLAY WANTS TO SEE YOU NOW!" He called beckoning us down