Footballer's hijabi wife

20. Media 2

Ruqqayya's phone started ringing as we ate our breakfast. It was Sayeed.

Something was telling me this was for me. I'm pretty sure he called Youssef already.

After salams I heard Ruqqayya say.

'Yes she's here.
....
No she's not with her phone
...
We are having breakfast
...
She's okay, yes!
...
Okay here she is..'

Ruqqayya stretched her hand to offer me her phone. I shook my head. I wasn't ready to hear anything. I wasn't ready. I also didn't want my voice to break. Because I was scared and hurt. What if Youssef even married her? What if this was the reason why he said he wanted space ?

'What? What should I tell him?'

'I just need a break from all of this.' I shrugged.

I walked out of the kitchen went upstairs wore my abaya and drove out of the house without a word. I sat at the beach, Alhamdulillah it wasn't too hot outside. I sat watching the waves, the waves were like life. They didn't stop. Life didn't stop either. It was test after test. I didn't even have time to forget one hardship with my marriage another one came. But Alhamdulillah. I walked to the shore, my feet slowly making contact with the ocean water.

Thoughts filled my mind. When was Youssef going to come home? When was all of this going to be over?

Today, tears left my eyes. I prayed to Allah, to make things better between me and Youssef. I prayed that all of this is a lie.

I found myself making dua from the deepest part of my heart. Tears streaming down my cheeks as I made the dua.

'Oh Allah unite me with my husband in love and understanding. Bring us together in obeying you. Oh Allah, let whatever they say about Youssef be a lie! Oh Allah, keep him on the right path, that of those most loved by you. Remove him from wordly illusions and make him of the righteous.'

I prayed that Allah accept my dua.

I didn't want to see 'my Youssef' going astray. That was the last thing I wanted to witness. Youssef had Taqwa and I pray it stays that way. May he never fall victim to the traps of Shaytaan.

It was finally time of dhuhr, and i decided to pray by the ocean. I made ablution using the ocean water, walked to my car and took my small prayer mat that I always carry with me in my car, which was a gift given to me by Youssef. I prayed my dhuhr prayer.

Stayed all day by the ocean then later returned home.

I walked in to see my whole family waiting for me fuming some worried.

'Where were you?'

'Aqsa we were so worried?'

'You should have told us you were okay! Everyone was looking for you.'

'Even your in-laws called..'

And blah blah blah.

I just looked at them not saying anything.

'Will you even say anything?'

'I'm fine, I just needed some space from all of this!' I said my hands signaling all the chaos that was going on.

Sayeed wasn't around, he had traveled last night. His flight was at 2am. He must be blowing up my phone after refusing to talk to him through Ruqqayya.
I walked to my room , took a shower. A long shower then I got on bed , didn't check my phone and I wasn't going to. Because everyone would be talking about the video and Alhamdulillah not a lot of people know that I'm married to Youssef just the people that were at my wedding. But still I'd still have a lot of phones to answer to.