Among the Stars

Running

Once out of the dining hall Agony broke out into a sprint, she ran outside the base walls and kept running until the base was out of sight. She kept running even though her lungs were pleading, begging, screaming for air. Her legs hurt, each time she put her foot down her knees cried out in pain. Agony didn't know what else to do. Besides run.

"Agony where are you going?" Tenebris demanded

"Running." Agony responded

"To where?" Tenebris demanded, "Agony there's nowhere to run! Our ship is grounded, you left the Tower. Where are you running too!"

Agony came to a halt, ripped her helmet off and slammed it onto the ground. She was panting, out of breath, sad, frustrated, mad, tired. There were too many emotions going on at once for her to process but rage. Rage rose to the top. It didn't silence the other emotions. No. Rage was just the loudest.

"I don't know! I don't know where I'm running! I don't know where I can go!" Agony screamed turning to look at Tenebris. "I am just so sick and tired of the dying and fighting. Why is it that we were granted near immortality only to die again! Why is it everywhere we go there's war? Why is it everywhere we go we must fight? Why is it that where there is life there is conflict?" Agony demanded she could feel the tears beginning to form and angrily blinked them away.

After her outburst, the only audible noises were Agony's labored breaths and the wind shaking the leaves. Agony hadn't realized how dark it had gotten, she didn't even know she could run that long. Part of her wanted to keep running until she collapsed from exhaustion. Part of her wanted to go back to the base, crawl into her ship, and sleep this mess away. The other part wanted to lay down right then and there and just stay there. Agony sat down and bit her tongue to keep herself from sobbing, but she couldn't stop the tears.

"Agony... we should go back. What if they sent a search party out?" Tenebris said in a low voice. Agony just shook her head.

"Tenebris I don't know where I'm running... I only know that I want to run. I want to leave everything behind but it's not working. Wherever I go my demons are nipping at my heels. It's always my fault. I'm not strong enough. I'm not fast enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not brave enough. I'm too aggressive. I'm too loud. It's always something to do with me, and I can never help it. Maybe I'm trying to run from myself too." The two sat in silence for a bit.

"I'm going back... I'll tell them that you're okay that... that you just need some space to process things." Tenebris said before floating away.

Once Tenebris was out of sight Agony laid down on her back to stare up into the night sky. The stars were bright, and they looked so far away, so free. Agony wondered what it would be like. To be a star. To shine so bright, to have people look up to you for guidance, for inspiration, for hope. Agony wondered what it felt like to be free. Free from your past, free from guilt, free from emotion. To be free from all troublesome things. To be truly free.