Truth & Dare *Intro*

Three

Voicemail again. I hang up. It's been six weeks and I still haven't heard from Rebecca. I've called, texted, and even mailed her a letter but I refuse to force myself on her.

Other parts of my life have settled down a little bit. Bill and Jen have been gracious hosts and my ATM card still works so I paid them some rent. They gave up asking about the situation after a week or so, content with whatever story they came up with in their heads. They know Becca and I are on the outs and luckily that's all. I don't know if they would still let me stay with them if they knew everything and it's not a risk I can take.

It's Saturday. I haven't been to Conflicted or had a hook up since I moved in even though I think about nothing else every Saturday night. Somehow it feels dirty and sullied even though I know that's ridiculous. If anything I should feel better about going now than when I was still living with Rebecca but I feel exposed, like I'm walking around with a big scarlet letter M on my chest. Or maybe G. I deserve a lot of letters. Maybe I'm still licking my wounds from Brian. We got along well, worked well together and he was such a nice guy. I burned a lot of bridges and I'm not naïve enough to think that they'll ever be rebuilt. Hell, they're still smoking.

I have an undeniable urge to go somewhere that I can be myself. I just want to be around people who won't think I'm horrible if they actually get to know me. Is that asking so much? Yeah, I know it is. I'm a mess, a disaster and an asshole all wrapped in one broken, too tall package. Still, as cute as this little basement room is, I'm tired of looking at the walls.

I could go to Conflicted. Worst case, Brian has told all the other Doms that I'm married and a lot of them probably just won't be interested but that's okay because I'm not really, either. Not tonight. I miss my previous Dom, Wesley. Unfortunately Denver is a little bit too far to go for a scene but that gets me thinking that maybe a change of scenery is exactly what I need. I pull out my laptop and start looking for other states that my teaching qualifications can transfer to. It's not like I'm madly in love with Los Angeles, who is? I submit a few resumes to see what happens. I can always tell them I'm not interested if I change my mind tomorrow but if even one district is interested in me, it would be a huge ego boost and a possibility and right now I can use all the possibilities I can get since I'm currently hovering at zero.

Knowing that I might be able to get out of here gives me the strength to quickly change into something club appropriate before pulling on my sweats. Luckily I have my own entrance even though it means climbing a steep hill around the side of their house and I'm smart enough not to attempt it when it's been raining.

When I arrive, I hand over my phone, grab both a black and white armband from the bouncer in case I change my mind later and check my sweats at the coat and clothing drop. As soon as I enter the lounge I'm glad I came because Mike and James and Kevin and Ollie are gathered at a table. Ollie smiles at me immediately and I walk over, my head down.

"Would you like to sit with us, Alex?" Kevin asks.

There's no malice when I sneak a peek at his eyes, nor is the expression on his face one of disgust. "I would like that very much Sir, thank you." I slide down onto the floor next Ollie who immediately tells me he's missed me.

Sir Greg and Chris arrive not much later and I end up telling him that I'm single. I don't know why I choose to confide in Chris but he handles it pretty well and I'm relieved that at least someone knows because if he knows, most of the group will soon. It saves me from talking about the details too much.

I spend about an hour dancing and have a blast with Mike. Mistress Allison's boys put on an amazing show and she gives me a good long look afterwards, walking right up to me. She's never approached me before and I fight hard to hide my surprise. "You're too tall for me but you're stunning, boy, absolutely stunning."

"Thank you ma'am" I reply politely.

Then she absolutely renders me speechless. "You should wear your wedding ring, lots of folks like that sort of thing. Have a good night, Alexander." And she's gone, spinning on her four-inch high heels. Her hair is so long that it leaves two seconds after she does. She's beautiful and glorious and I love that she's completely comfortable in her skin. Who says you have to be rail thin to be gorgeous?

***

At lunch on Tuesday I listen to a voicemail from Ollie inviting me over. I call him back. "Hi Ollie."

"Hey Alex! So, I know you're a teacher and I'm wondering what time you finish up in the afternoons."

"I have wrestling Monday and Friday and don't get out of here till five but the rest the week I'm usually done by three. Why?"

"Three is perfect. Would you like to come to dinner tonight? Come over after work and we can have some boy-only time until Master gets home."

I've been walking down the hallway and I step outside, making sure there aren't any students nearby. "Did Chris tell you?"

I can hear his inhale. "Don't be mad but yes."

There's no point in not being honest, he already thinks whatever he's going to. "Are you going to yell at me? I can't do hard right now."

"Alex! I'm offended. No, honey, I'm not. I was worried about you before but if you can't even laugh at that hard dick innuendo, I'm really concerned. Come to me. We will talk and laugh and I will feed you yummy things."

How can I say no to that? Four hours later I'm knocking on his front door. He immediately pulls me into a hug but I worry when he releases me and turns his head to cough. "You okay?"

He waves it off. "Fine, fine." The beeper goes off and he heads towards the kitchen. "Cookies, come help yourself."

The tray he's pulling out is the third kind, there are already chocolate chip and some snowball or sugar cookie looking ones resting on cooling racks. I grab a chocolate chip. "These are divine. What are all the cookies for?"

"Tomorrow is Master's crappy and long day at work so I'm going to send these along with him. It may not help his caseload but if everyone else is happy, that may make his day a little bit easier. So, how are you?"

Kevin is a lucky, lucky man. I don't know how to answer his question because people usually don't want to know but this is Ollie and I can tell from his voice and the way he's looking at me that he really wants the truth. "I guess I'm okay but the last month has absolutely sucked. That's not true, it could and probably should be much worse so I shouldn't complain but I just, I don't know what to do with myself. Does everyone hate me?"

"Wine?"

"No thanks." He's probably figuring out how to say 'of course we all hate you' in the nicest possible way.

"Alex, listen very carefully: everyone does not hate you. Granted" he teased "not all of the surveys are in." He grabs a cookie and comes over to sit with me. "How honest do you want me to be?"

Not much. I'm really not sure if I can take it. "Feel free to lie."

"Sorry, you're getting the truth because you need it and it's probably not as bad as you think. Okay, look, this is just my opinion. Do I like that you were married and cheating? No, I do not. Harsh but true. I like you, I think that you're sweet and funny but I've always kept my distance a little, you know?"

He was right, that could have been worse. "That's fair."

"I don't know your story or how you ended up where you were or what happened with your wife and I don't really need to know. I just want you to know that if you need anything, this is a safe space. If you need help I can pull some strings. Besides, Chris likes you and that pretty much means you're good with me. He's traveling yet again but his strings are much longer than mine and I'm sure he would help you out if you said the word."

"That's... that's really nice, thank you."

"It's what we do for family. Forget about it. I need to peel potatoes, can I put you to work?"

"Absolutely."