We Can Be Mended (Divergent fanfic)

Chapter 1 - Shattered

(Tobias)
I spent 18 years building up a fragile wall around my heart, to protect me not only from the pain of my mother's death, but from the belt that cut far deeper than just the bruises on my back. In just 3 months that wall was reduced to dust. At the time, it felt free. For years that wall controlled me, I could never trust, never love, never venture beyond the confinement of the unbreakable wall around my heart. I had friends, of course, but one of the reasons I loved Zeke and Shauna so much was because they never asked questions, unlike others who seemed to think they had a right to know the dark secrets of my past that haunt me even now. So I welcomed the freedom that came when she shattered the wall and coaxed me out of the hole I had hidden in since my mother 'died'. She taught me to trust and for that I loved her - with everything I had. In just three months, she managed to repair the damage of eighteen years. But that just made it all more painful. I suppose I am still grateful for what she did. I trust my friends a lot more than I used to. I even talk to them sometimes - really talk. But nothing can repair the damage she caused. I don't blame her for it. How could I blame her for dying? But that doesn't change the fact that her death shattered the fragile person that she had made of me. The trust and the love that she created died with her and I know that they will never return because the only person that could ever mend me from something which tore me up as much as this would be her, my Tris.